February 28, 2005
Nice try
This kid has some serious cajones:
In a country hungry for international recognition, 17-year-old Saurabh Singh was feted as a national hero after announcing he had won NASA's International Scientist Discovery examination, which he said he took at Oxford University.
The Uttar Pradesh state government rewarded him with a 500,000 rupee ($11,500) prize and more than 100 members of the state's upper house each donated a day's salary to him.
But as he was at the president's official residence awaiting an audience during the week, his story unraveled.
An Indian news portal, rediff.com, contacted NASA, which denied any knowledge of the exam.
"Right now, no one knows where this examination comes from," Rediff quoted NASA education official Dwayne Brown saying.
Posted at 03:25 PM | Comments (0)
Hustled
Yesterday, before I had the unfortunate incident with the black eye, I participated in the Hustle up the Hancock. A few months ago, I wrote about how suicidal I thought this would be.
Now that the race has come and gone, I have to admit that it wasn't that bad. I was convinced that I would make it in about 15 minutes, but instead I blazed up the 42 flights of stairs in a feel-good time of 8 minutes or so. I am afraid that I will never know my actual time, because it seems that my timing chip did not register on the race results.
I am not too pleased at that, because I really want to know how I did. My time would have been better, too, if I wasn't stuck behind a dwarf who was also climbing the stairs. Sorry to say, but I don't think it would be kosher to push her out of the way in order to shave 10 seconds off my time. At any rate, it was an interesting experience.
Hopefully I'll have a picture one of these days. The most frustrating thing about races is when they have a race photographer, because I look like hell when exercising - moreso than how I look normally. At about the third floor, I wheeled around a corner and was faced with a lady yelling "smile!" and popping a camera in my face. I have yet to see the picture, but I have a good idea that it will simply be me looking totally surprised that there is a photographer in the stairwell.
Posted at 10:23 AM | Comments (0)
February 27, 2005
My girlfriend beats me up
Check out this shiner I picked up playing soccer tonight!
It doesn't look so bad right now, but I think tomorrow I am going to look like I got into a bar fight. The part that really burns my canoli is that the fucker who nailed me with an elbow didn't even get in trouble!
Posted at 08:49 PM | Comments (0)
February 26, 2005
Where'd you learn to shoot like that?
My day is complete. While flipping through TV channels, I come across the Back to the Future trilogy. This trilogy, along with the Indiana Jones and Star Wars trilogies, are the seminal movie trilogies of my childhood. To me, there are no other trilogies. Lord of the Rings? Pooh on that!
But I do have one minor quibble. I am currently watching the end of Back to the Future II, when Marty finally burns the futuristic sports almanac that allowed Biff to become a millionaire. One of the ways the characters can tell if the future is back to normal is by looking at newspaper clippings and photographs. For example, in the Biff controlled world, there is a newspaper headline that says "George McFly murdered!" But, when Marty destroys the almanac, it morphs into "George McFly honored!"
This is all well and good, but can somebody tell me what are the odds that George McFly would be the subject of the exact same newspaper headline on the exact same date in two alternate universes like that? It just doesn't mesh, folks.
But who am I to complain? Back to the Future III is on next. Cheers!
Posted at 02:21 PM | Comments (0)
February 25, 2005
Take me out
Ah, I am starting to feel spring in the air. Cub tickets go on sale today, and I am stuck at work like the peon that I am. A girl on my floor hockey team said she was going to stand in line for a chance to get tickets, and said I should go. I declined, because I am done with waiting in lines.
Anyhow, a baseball blog called the Baseball Analysts asked a group of baseball writers - print media and bloggers - who their favorite player was when they were growing up.
Even the most jaded of us had a favorite player. Mine was Eric Davis. That man could play. He had the unattainable combination of speed and power, and he patrolled the outfield like a cheetah clad in an ugly 80's uniform. Every time he caught a fly ball, he would tap his thigh with his glove in homage to Willie Mays.
Then, there was the 1990 World Series, when the Reds swept the Oakland Athletics aside. That A's team included the Bash Brothers, including the steroid-addled Jose Canseco. Davis pounded a home run in the first game off Dave Stewart, and the Reds never looked back. In Game 4, Davis bruised his kidney diving for a fly ball, and he really wasn't the same after that.
Yet, he played until 2001, and even beat cancer. That was probably his greatest victory. Thanks for the memories, Eric.
Posted at 10:47 AM | Comments (0)
February 24, 2005
Dilemma
The Guster Studio Journal posited quite a headscratcher a few days ago: what to do when you go to do the laundry, and your female neighbor/roommate's clothes are in the dryer.
This is of great importance to me, since three girls live above me who have the habit of leaving their clothes unattended for hours. Usually, they leave them in the washer, and the clothes don't even make it to the dryer. In that case, I'll put them in the dryer.
But, on occasion, the girls will leave their clothes in the dryer. I'll let them be until it comes time for my own clothes to go in the dryer, in which case I have to make a decision: throw them in a basket? Fold them? Toss them onto the floor?
Clearly the third choice is verboten. My folding skillz, on the other hand, leave a lot to be desired. I fold the way George W. Bush speaks English. I don't understand why, but I am the worst ever at folding clothes. However, I do roll socks like a maniac. I have that going for me.
So, I am left to putting the clothes in a basket, and maybe arranging them nicely. But now here is the major dilemma: what do I do with the bras, panties, and thongs? Of course I have to put them in the basket, but I live in fear that one of them is going to come into the laundry room when I am there, only to catch me playing with her lacy black thongs, not that I study them or anything. I mean, they have to know that if they leave the laundry there, someone's going to have to move it. They probably don't care at all, but that never stopped me from worrying about it.
So, I ask you: do you care if somebody else takes your underwear out of the dryer? Why or why not?
Posted at 03:19 PM | Comments (0)
Get with the program
Does anyone remember the episode of The Simpsons where Bart throws his lucky red hat into the washer, only to turn all of Homer's white shirts into pink? Homer wears the pink shirt to work, and soon gets committed to a mental institution, where he meets a guy who thinks he's Michael Jackson.
I had visions of that happening to me when I wore a pink shirt to work on Tuesday. I am becoming increasinly foppish, it seems. The shirt was a present from my dear mother, who loves to buy me clothes. I'm 25 and my mom still buys clothes for me. Honestly, I can't tell her to stop, can I?
Apparently pink is the in color nowadays. I have no idea how this happened, but I am willing to guess it has something to do with those Queer Eye fellas.
Amazingly enough, I look decent in pink. Usually when I wear something that I am not entirely comfortable with (such as my ill-fated leather jacket), I wear it once and then it never sees the light of day again. But, while going to the gym after work, the lady behind the desk said she thought it looked very nice. She probably mocked me after I left, though.
Nevertheless, any time a stranger complements my clothes, I think it's a good sign. On the other hand, I am developing quite an affinity for the Philadelphia Cheese Steak, as made by Philly's Best on Belmont. I fear that I might be approaching "regular" status at the place, which means that I recognize the girls working behind the counter and they recognize me. They're Russian, you know. Which makes me wonder why they are making cheese steaks.
Last week, I went in to Philly's Best to get a cheese steak. I had just come back from my floor hockey game, and I was wearing my "Beer Please" t-shirt. It had an outline of Homer Simpson on it, and "Beer Please" below it. On the back, it had the number 8 and the name "SNOOP OZ," because that's me.
Somebody in the store asked me where I got the shirt, and I told her how I had them specially made. She then offered to buy it from me for a dollar. I sniffed in contempt, and made a counteroffer: two dollars. I then told her I couldn't sell the shirt because it had my name on the back, and she said there is no way my name is Snoop Oz. I mean, she is right, but it's a sobriquet that also happens to be my e-mail address. I told her if she desperately wanted one, she could e-mail me, since the name on the shirt was also my address. She hasn't written back yet. But really, a dollar. Puh-leaze!
Posted at 11:36 AM | Comments (0)
February 22, 2005
Leave it to the British
I'll admit it. I have a new love. It's the game show Distraction. I fell in love the minute contestants could buzz in to answer trivia questions, only to be hit on the head with a glass bottle. Seriously. This is Fear Factor I can love.
Posted at 10:39 PM | Comments (0)
Back from the brink
Hi everybody. Things went straight to hell here at Squealer Towers, and I think I may have lost the entire former site. That sucks something terrible.
I am not sure what happened, though part of me wishes I was the target of some hacker hit because I am always writing bad things about Fred Durst. However, it is much more likely that something somehow got corrupted, and screwed up the entire installation.
But never fear, loyal reader. I am currently retooling, and will be back in the swing of things in no time. It's almost March, which means the Second Annual Southport Squealer Faux March Madness (tm) tournament will soon be upon us!
Posted at 09:20 PM | Comments (0)