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March 21, 2005
Bury me now
Now I know all of you love when I rant about how I feel like I'm ancient because I'm 25 years old. And I know some of you wish YOU could be 25. Sorry pal, I don't have the luxury of hindsight just yet.
But here's yet another sign I'm getting old. Two, actually.
First, I'm sitting on my couch, in my newly-rearranged living room, when I get to MTV while flipping channels. In my younger days (ie 2 years ago), *I* was the MTV demographic. But today, I came across MTV while "Spring Break" is on. They played videos of coeds running around in bikinis, grinding on some hapless drunken 18 year old dude with their supple and toned bodies. And it occured to me (doubly emphasized when I typed "supple") that *I* am too old for them. I am a dirty old man. Now, sure, some college girls dig older dudes - Scarlett Johanssen, call me - but that's because I'm older, not because I am necessarily otherwise desirable. And hey, that sucks. But I suppose I can always just get them drunk, eh?
On the other hand today, I am in Elmhurst today eating lunch at Roly Poly. As I enter the restaurant, I am greeted by three MILF's with three equally adorable children. Now, I make a conscious effort to, well, ignore children. These particular children were running around the store, playing some sort of choo-choo train game. Most of the time they were no more than two feet from me, playing along, oblivious to me. I, meanwhile, stoically read my newspaper.
This went on for about twenty minutes, as the MILF's chatted among themselves. Finally, one of the mom's came over to me and said "sorry for ruining your lunch." Aww!
Now this means something to me: that I am grown up enough to be annoyed by children. I mean, sure I look all important when I go to work because I'm wearing a tie and junk like that. But am I distinguished enough to be worthy of an apology on behalf of someone's kids? I was waiting for one of the kids, pushed by her mom to "talk to the gentleman" and apologize. That makes me feel old, fo' sho'.
Posted by oz115 at March 21, 2005 08:49 PM