« I'm sleeping with the porcelain tonight | Main | West Virginia style »
March 29, 2005
History Region, Second Round
Well kids, the History Region is set to send four teams to the Swell Sixteen. Which titans of antiquity will rule supreme in the second round? Let's find out.
#1 Sir Isaac Newton 94, #9 Rasputin 60. Wow, Newton embarrases Rasputin in this one. It looks as though the Mad Russian's luck ran out when he came upon Newton, who used his own particular brand of hard-ass physics to dispatch the monk. Gravity: it's not just a good idea, it's the law.
#4 Henry VIII 67, #12 Black Plague 61. The Plague had visions on going all the way, as one observor predicted, but this was not to be. Henry VIII was just too much, even for the plague to handle. Henry survived countless wives, so a measly old thing like the Plague isn't going to stop him.
#11 Panama Canal 57, #14 James K. Polk 55. This was a nailbiter, and the Panama Canal's cinderella run continues. I made great note of how Polk accomplished a lot for America, but the Canal snorts with contempt at the measly Mexican American War. Show me the money, says the Canal. And the Canal knows a lot about money. Oh yes, yes it does.
#2 William Tecumseh Sherman 67, #10 Percy Bysshe Shelley 55. This one almost got ugly. Sherman, the belligerent Lancasterian, sent Shelley packing. Maybe Shelley used the West Wind to beat a hasty defeat? Either way, Sherman said war is hell, and so is Faux March Madness. When Sherman told Shelley what was about to happen, Shelley may have replied, "you and what army?" Unfortunately for him, Sherman could respond with the Army of the Cumberland.
So, there you have it, the Swell Sixteen matchups for the History Region.
To recap, they are:
#1 Sir Isaac Newton vs. #4 Henry VIII
#2 William Tecumseh Sherman vs #11 The Panama Canal.
Posted by oz115 at March 29, 2005 07:01 PM