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August 04, 2005
Manner patrol
If there's one thing I've learned from advice columns, no matter how much I complain about stuff, there's always somebody who is scads more whiny than me:
Dear Prudence,
Am I being prickly, or do I have a valid complaint? It drives me absolutely batty when I thank a waiter, sales clerk, or other paid service person and the response is "no problem." I paid you to bring me my meal or find those shoes in my size, and the fact that it was or wasn't a problem is of no interest to me. A few times I've actually responded that "I don't really care if it was a problem or not," which I know was wrong, but I was aflame with ire and it just came out. As for myself, whenever I am thanked, I always respond with, "You're welcome," "I'm happy to help," or "My pleasure." Is it too much to ask that others do the same?
How now, Brown cow? Come on! I've never really thought of "no problem" as some kind of insulting comment.
It's merely a more informal way of saying "you're welcome." Between you and me, saying "you're welcome" every time says thanks gets a little tiresome. I'll toss in a "no problem," or an "mm huh" or a "sure thing," when somebody says thanks, and I think it's fairly obvious what I mean. Because, if you say "you're welcome" every time, it loses its meaning.
On a similar note, I was poking around my mobile phone the other day when I discovered that it had "canned text messages," which are pre-set text messages that I can send without having to type out the thing. One such canned message is "I love you." Suppose I was going to tell somebody via a text message that I love her. Is the sentiment there if I am selecting a preset message? That seems to me to be analagous to sending someone a card and leaving it blank.
But back to the no problem. I think most reasonable people understand that it is a less formal "you're welcome." Sure, there are sarcastic "no problems" and "you're welcomes," but that does not take away from the basic principle that it is not a rude or insulting thing to say.
The writer of this letter comes off, for lack of a better term, as sort of an, uh... asshat. It's not as if the shoe salesman in question is bringing you your shoes and responding to a thank you with "whatever," he's saying, "it's no problem."
Because, let's look at it this way. The waiter's job is to bring you your food. Theoretically, since it is his job, he doesn't need to be thanked for bringing the food. In fact, I see many people who do not say thanks when brought their food. But, however, supposing that you do say thanks, "no problem" is a completely acceptable response. One person is saying thank you for doing this for me, while the other person is saying, oh, it's not a problem - it's my job!
Posted by oz115 at August 4, 2005 08:51 AM
Comments
That writer probably also gets positively apoplectic over a cashier saying "Can I help who's next?"
Posted by: Pete at August 4, 2005 09:55 AM