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October 21, 2005
Oz's mailbag
I think it's time to open the ol' mailbag, don't you?
Stat Boy has a difference of opinion about a Seinfeld episode:
Yes, the final episode sucked. It will go down as one of the most underachieved final episodes in television history.
However, the episode with the Twix bar was hysterical. George's performance was classic, from his desperate "Jump!" plea to the Twix bar that was dangling in the machine to his famous line: "You're all screwin' me!" which he yelled when the employees ate the candy lineup.
Sorry old buddy, but I have to disagree. I did not like the Twix Bar episode one bit. It was all a little too absurd to me. The premise just went too overboard.
It started off fine. George wants to buy a candy bar, but when he uses his only dollar to purchase a Twix, it gets stuck in the machine. He goes to find the manager, but when they get back his Twix is gone, ostentsibly eaten by a mechanic who got two for the price of one. So far so good.
This is where it gets wacky. George then demands to have the mechanic fired for stealing the candy bar, and in so doing tries to set up a candy lineup in order to trick the mechanic. How a candy lineup would accomplish this, I don't know. Even more important, if George has no money, where did he get all the money to buy 8 more candy bars to make the lineup? And why is George so mad about it in the first place? Now he has 8 candy bars! The sideplot where Kramer tries to drive the car as far beyond the E on the gas gauge as possible was funny, but I don't know if it can redeem the terrible candy bar lineup premise.
Then, Christy isn't worrying about my Harrier Miers Jeopardy dream:
Oh do not fear, I'm not jealous of Harriet. After all, I've been having sexual dreams of Steven Tyler of AEROSMITH for weeks now.
You're right. I'm not upset about your Steven Tyler dreams, but maybe you should fear my dreams about Jeopardy. I am an avowed trivia nut, and Jeopardy is the ultimate trivia challenge. It has long been a fantasy of mine to be on Jeopardy, and one could even suppose a victory on Jeopardy is tantamount to some other people's sex fantasies, like, I don't know, scoring with a Playboy model or, uh, Steven Tyler. Is it possible in my mind I equate Jeopardy with sex? If so, having Harriet Miers there would be very troubling indeed. If not for you, then definitely for me. Yikes!
Then, Pete weighs in on the Sox/Cubs rivalry:
You have to admit that at least 10% of Cub fans are plain old assholes, too.
Sadly, this is also true. If only we could take the jackass fans of every team and give them their own team to root for! That way, we'd all have a team to hate. Oh... Well, I guess that's the New York Yankees. Thanks, I'll be here all week.
Finally, Beth says:
Hmmm I had a union meeting and the same thing....free Pizza, I did not join but the pizza was good! Of course I think the international law presentation sounded interesting...Professor Avramovich knows his stuff and also likes a good pizza!
Beth, thanks for reading. Now if you don't mind me asking, what the dickens are you talking about?
I think that about wraps it up for this edition of the mailbag. Keep the comments coming, you knuckleheads.
Posted by oz115 at October 21, 2005 10:49 AM
Comments
Oh Sexy Man Of Mystery,
You are going to NOTRE DAME this weekend... what's with the "I'm watching my sox" away message? Not only is it endorsing the F*cking White Sox, but it's not celebrating your weekend destination, NOTRE DAME! I'm dissapointed.
Posted by: Your Lady friend at October 21, 2005 11:17 AM
"Can we watch Friends?"
"No! I'm watching my Sox."
Posted by: Stat Boy at October 21, 2005 12:53 PM