Southport Squealer, Part Deux: We have a weiner

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October 07, 2005

We have a weiner

The gloriously funny Ig Nobel Awards have been decided once again:

Gregg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention — prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs.

What started 10 years ago with an experiment on an unwitting Rottweiler named Max has turned into a thriving mail-order business. And on Thursday night Miller's efforts earned him a dubious yet strangely coveted honor: the Ig Nobel Prize for medicine.

"Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honor," he said. "I wish they were alive to see it."

The Ig Nobels, given at Harvard University by Annals of Improbable Research magazine, celebrate the humorous, creative and odd side of science.

I don't know how I feel about the winner of the "literature prize": to people behind the most famous e-mail scam of all time, the Nigerian who needs access to your bank account. Seems to me this is rewarding crime, which should not be given any more incentive!

Posted by oz115 at October 7, 2005 09:51 AM


Comments

My dear Boy Toy,
It is interesting what has been invented for men with penis problems. Clearly it IS a man's world... even the male dog now has prosthetic testicles. As a self proclaimed penis expert following my time selling Levitra for erectile dysfunction, I'd like to add the following...
620,000 American men between ages 40 and 70 experience erectile dysfunction of any degree each year, and an approx. 20 million and 30 million men in the US have erectile dysfunction at some point during their life. Smokers' odds of ED are moer than double that of non smokers.

Before the dawn of Viagra, Levitra and Cialis men were walking around the planet with wee wee's that wouldn't stand up on cue. Thus, scientists concentrated their efforts on getting men hardons. Psychotherapies include some form of psychological, behavioral, sexual, or combination therapy and is often recommended for individuals suffering from ED. So if a man is stuck in a shitty relationship they make him go to counseling. If he is depressed they make him go to counseling. Hyponosis typically fails as well. The vast majority of psychotherapy fails in fact.

Then there are meds and devices that the man has to physically INSERT into his penis. Some meds are jammed into the pee pee hole and then they absorb in the hopes that they will cause an erections. Typically in about 5 minutes or so it produces a hardon. Yes, it ruins the moment when he has to excuse himself from the passion and lock himself in the bathroom, but it works! It is also reported to be quite painful.

Then there are the goodl ole vacuum devices. No, they aren't just for porn shops. Their original intention was for men with ED, but of course the sex shops got a hold of those. The vacuums work, but can also be painful. And what a mood killer!

Intracavernosal injection therapy... need I say more? It's painful. And not always reliable.

Then there is the grandaddy of all ED therapies... PENILE IMPLANTS! They actually undergo surgery and long inflatable tubes are inserted into the penis. So, when the time is right, then man literally reaches for a PUMP which is hidden behind his balls, and actually pumps and squeezes it till it has, much like a balloon, pumped up his penis and created an erection. This is incredibly radical surgery and what a mood killer. This is only preformed if NOTHING else works.

... Still waiting for treatments for women with sexual problems....

As a woman currently selling vaginal cream for DRY CROTCh in menopausal women suffering extreme pain- especailly during sex, I find it fascinating that docs will send a man home with a script for Viagra, but not consult with his wife first. He comes home with a prescription for an ED drug, and his wife is doubled over in pain from a dry crotch... from vaginal walls literally as thin as paper... and her husband what to jam his penis in there?! I DON'T THINK SO!

Posted by: Your Lady friend at October 10, 2005 07:15 AM