« When cell phones are outlawed, only outlaws will have cell phones | Main | I'm a funny guy »
November 16, 2005
Food drive
Today at school, we had a canned food drive. If you brought in two items of canned food, you received a very special prize: the professor was not allowed to call on you. Everybody brought in their items, though I could swear I saw one person whose items were cans of Milwaukee's Best.
I had to make a special trip to the store to get my two canned food items. You know very well that I barely have any food in my house, and most of that is frozen. I do have cans of pork and beans, but I am not giving those away because I love pork and beans. Always have, always will. That shit is delicious, and it goes perfectly with just about any type of meat.
My two items were a can of Chef Boyardee's spaghetti and meatballs and a can of green beans. I was late for class today because there was some sort of problem with the El and it took my train 45 minutes to get downtown instead of 20. As I walked in, somebody says, "Look! He brought Chef Boyardee!"
My favorite part of canned food drives is when you get to see what everyone else brought. It is usually somebody's kitchen rejects that get brought to the canned food drive. Somebody always brings a can of fruit cocktail. There's usually a thing of lima beans. One girl today brought a can of chickpeas. Chickpeas! Did she go to the supermarket and find the cheapest, most repulsive thing there?
That's what I love about the food drives. Everyone always brings a can of crap, useless food. When you were a kid, your mom would reach into the very back of the cupboard and yank out something from the doldrums like a can of lentls and a can of chicken broth. Not chicken soup - just broth. It would all get crated up, and some poor needy person would get a big box of fruit cocktail, spaghetti sauce and matzo balls.
I've often wondered, do the poor people get upset about their canned food? Thankfully I've never been poor, and hope I never will be, but come on - show a little compassion. That's why when I bring stuff for canned food drives, I try to get something a little classy. I mean, I'm not going to send a can of caviar or something, but I think instead of a can of watery alphabet chicken soup I can send along some Dinty Moore stew. You know, something substantial, like a Campbell's Chunky Soup. That's soup that eats like a meal, my friend. If I ever have a kid, I'm going to make sure he's bringing something nice, too.
Does anyone agree with me? Should you spend the extra 50 cents and get some nice canned food for the canned food drive, or are you giving them the can of peaches you bought in 1997?
Posted by oz115 at November 16, 2005 01:16 PM