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November 09, 2005
Luxury
I went to a meeting at the Chicago Bar Association building yesterday, and let me tell you, I was impressed. The entire lobby of the building is nothing but marble. Marble floor. Marble wall. Marble ceilings. Marble desks. I marveled at all that marble.
One of the advantages of being some high-powered attorney type is you get to be surrounded by all this opulence. This opulence, naturally, extends to the bathroom. Every now and then my dad would go to some conference, he'd bring us along, and he'd get put up in some fancy hotel. Without fail, the bathroom in the hotel room always had a phone right next to the toilet. I said to myself, "I want to be so important one day that I can't miss a call even when I am trying to make a poo." (My exact words.)
I went to use the bathroom at the CBA building. The whole room was marble, with expensive turkish carpets and lighting like I was in a romantic Italian restaurant. There may have even been an attendant in there. I stood with mouth agape, did my business, and went on my way.
It somehow reminded me of the movie RoboCop. My second most vivid memory of RoboCop, other than the guy who plays Red Foreman getting pulverized into a million pieces, is when the executives at the firm that designed the RoboCop have a heated discussion in the executive bathroom. There's just something silly about a bathroom exclusively for the use of executives. Secured with a key! Do you think the President needs a key to get into his bathroom?
Do we really need such spectacular bathrooms? I think all I could ever ask for is the bathroom to be clean, and for it to be stocked with an adequate supply of toilet paper. I don't know if I want the bathroom to have the feel of a hunting lodge, or a country club. Let me do my thing in peace. It doesn't matter how nice it is. But, for God's sake, at least let there be enough light for me to read.
Posted by oz115 at November 9, 2005 12:20 PM
Comments
Well, Ozzie, being someone who works at law firms and quite a few at that. I can tell you, the diggs they poo in aren't much nicer than your run of the mill Denny's. And get with the times, there's no phone in the bathroom, but I challenge you to walk into a bathroom in a law firm and not hear the clatter of Blackberry typing coming from any occupied stall.
Posted by: Timmy! at November 9, 2005 01:31 PM