« Congratulations | Main | Expensive refund »
November 07, 2005
Shoot me
Due to the pecularities of Illinois law, school insisted that I have a tetanus shot before coming there. I put submitting my information off long enough that they waited until a few weeks ago to notify me that my tetanus shot was expired, and if I didn't get a new one, they would not let me register.
Do you know how hard it is to get a tetanus shot? I'll tell you. I looked around at all sorts of health clinics in Chicago, but none of them did tetanus shots. I was starting to panic - what would I do if I couldn't get a tetanus shot? What would they do to me?
Tetanus is such a stupid disease anyway. From what I know, you pick it up from rusty nails, and if you aren't careful you can wind up with lockjaw. I've never gotten a clear answer on what lockjaw is, but it isn't pretty. Nobody ever gets tetanus, probably because people are always getting shot up with the vaccine.
But I was panicking about a lack of tetanus shots, when I realized I have total insider access. I told my dad how I needed this shot. This was good because he, as a doctor, can write prescriptions and stuff and prescribe me a tetanus shot. I went to visit the family in scenic Lancaster, so I had the perfect opportunity. He made a few phone calls, before the hospital said they could give him the stuff. We drove over to the hospital, filled out some paperwork, and got the syringe from the pharmacy. It cost a whopping $22. Apparently the rest of the normal hospital charge is labor, or something.
There was no needle with the syringe, so we went over to his department to hunt down a needle. I said hi to all sorts of people at the department, who have been hearing about me since I was a wee lad.
Among the people working there that day was the mother of the girl I took to prom. It was a very asinine prom date, even more so because I was a stupid idiot who did not remember that the mother of the girl I was asking to go with me was in the same room with my dad 10 hours a day. It didn't really matter anyway - I had a fun time, though if certain people think I am boring and unexciting now, you should've seen me in high school. She's married now, to a guy who sings in the opera. I can't even sing karaoke.
But I digress. We were walking around the hospital, trying to find a needle. We found a nurse, whom my dad cajoled into giving me the shot. I don't know if he could've given me the shot, but I'm guess he could have. My dad thinks I am a pussy when it comes to getting stuck with needles. This is because the last time he stuck me with needles, I almost fainted. In my defense, he was poking my fingertip trying to extract a sliver, and he was just not getting it. It hurt like a bitch - your fingertips have a boatload of nerve endings as it is, and I don't need my dad jamming me with a needle for ten minutes. But I took this damn shot with ease. I scoff at you, needle!
The other side effect of the tetanus shot is it makes your arm sore for weeks. Right now, my arm is sore, and it's got a funky little bulge where I got the shot. I thought it was my bulging muscles, but then I remembered I didn't have any bulging muscles. Anyway, it's sore, and I don't like it. It feels like somebody punched my arm real hard. Wah!!!
But it's all worth it. I'm officially cleared up with all my vaccinations!
Posted by oz115 at November 7, 2005 10:10 AM