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December 28, 2005

Trivia time

Here's a great piece of absolutely useless information. What are the two biggest-selling Irish musical acts of all time?

To find your answer, click here and go to the fifth paragraph.

Posted by oz115 at 09:04 AM | Comments (1)

December 26, 2005

Catch me if you can

Now, I am not a gloating man, but look at that. That is yours truly, sitting with an 11 point lead in the Pro Football Pick 'Em game on Yahoo. Barring a complete and total collapse, or if my closest rival, a shady character named Audra, manages to get every single game right next week, I will be the victor.

This should mark my first victory in any sports-related contest in maybe my lifetime. If I recall correctly, we have been doing football pick 'ems since sophomore year of college, and I usually finish last. Seven years of this, and I always win The Wooden Spoon. Why? Because I suck. Mostly, it's because I always pick the Buffalo Bills. The Bills still lose all their games, but at least they usually beat the spread now. They have that going for them.

So, pray for me that I don't blow it next week. I could really use the morale boost!

Posted by oz115 at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

Feliz Navidad

Happy holidays, everyone. Yesterday was Christmas. I got a good little bit of swag, some money, and some gift cards. It was a good haul. I thought I gave some good gifts as well, and that always makes me feel nice.

But I also get a little schmaltzy around Christmastime. It always feels weird when you're this sort-of independent adult, gone home for a few weeks, who then reverts to being a little kid. My past few days have been filled with driving around town with my mom and little brother, going to lunch and taking the dog for walks. I haven't done much of anything that's productive. Typically I'd do something like go to the record store if I was bored, but we don't have one of those in town, and FYE doesn't count. I'm not complaining, but admittedly I would eventually shoot myself if all I had to look forward to was lunch at the food court.

So now, there is this big and momentous occasion. A certain somebody is coming to visit me for a whole whopping six days! This will be the first time Christy will set sight upon glorious Lancaster, as well as the first time she spends any quality time with my parents. They did drive her to the airport once, which led my mom to infamously remark that she was "flighty."

My poor mom, I think, is freaking out about it. First on her list: make me clean my room.

To understand this problem, there are two things you should know. First, I was, and still am, a big stinking nerd. Dork. Dweeb. Whatever. I was such a nerd, I used to tape my glasses when they broke and once used a paperclip to keep them together when a screw got loose. I was such a nerd, I wear glasses even though it is grossly simple for me to wear contact lenses. But, as a child, I amassed a sizable collection of books, magazines, and notebooks. They all found themselves in my room.

Secondly, there is the room. When I was little, I had a room upstairs. But, I could never get up for school on time, so they moved my room right next to theirs on the ground floor, so that I couldn't sleep in if I tried. That room was spacious. I could fit as many books as I wanted in that room. When I went off to college, my parents decided my room was expendable, and they knocked it down to make way for an addition which eventually became a new master bedroom. Where my glorious bedroom used to be was now a walk-in closet. My childhood, reduced to a closet. Tres bien.

So now, they gave me another room. The thing is the size of a postage stamp. But I attempted to keep all my books in there. The result: my room consists of a bed, a desk, a dresser, four bookcases and about four square feet of open space. My mom declared one of the bookcases had to go, because Christy would be totally offended at my awful room.

I set to work today clearing off the bookcases. Let me tell you, I have a lot of shit. I managed to get rid of about five garbage bags full of old magazines, notebooks from 9th grade geography class, and several other useless knickknacks. Strangely, I found my American Government notebook from senior year of high school, which I strangely marked "8/21/1997 - 8:10 am. Will it ever end?" It went into the trash heap.

Christy, I hope you appreciate my sacrifice. It sure was tough!

Posted by oz115 at 01:39 PM | Comments (2)

December 23, 2005

Novel idea

Yeah, but... It's still Milwaukee! Actually, I shouldn't say that. Milwaukee's a nice place. Its name comes from an Algonquin Indian word meaning, "the good land."

A warmer Milwaukee? Just move the thermometer. That's what a local group is considering as a way to make the city more appealing to tourists and people thinking of relocating here.

The official thermometer is now located at the local airport, which just happens to be about two miles west of Lake Michigan.

And everyone in the Milwaukee area has heard meteorologists say over and over, especially in spring and summer, temperatures would be "cooler near the lake."

So the private, nonprofit Spirit of Milwaukee wonders if moving the thermometer further inland — where temperatures at times can be 10 degrees warmer — would give Milwaukee a warmer image.

Posted by oz115 at 09:24 AM | Comments (2)

December 22, 2005

Words to live by

I received this is an e-mail forward. These are definitely good tips for my "Best Albums of the Year" list, which, it seems, I do not have time for.

How To Make A Hip End of the Year 'Best Albums' List

-- Before you begin, make sure you pre-empt your list by
saying/blogging/writing in your journal that there weren't many great
albums out this year and that music sucks in general right now. If
you don't, people will assume that you derive pleasure out of making
lists about your favorite things. And that's soooo unhip.

-- Remember to include at least one (but no more than 3) hip hop
albums. This shows that you are receptive to all types of music
(except everything but rock and hip hop) and that you are "down."
Don't get fancy, stick with what works: Kanye, Outkast, and A Tribe
Called Quest are always safe, even if they didn't release an album
this year.

-- If you don't plan on naming a couple of Import albums that don't
come out in this country until the Spring of next year then stop
reading right now and get the fuck out of my blog.

-- This should go without saying, but be sure to include one band
that nobody's ever heard of. This is a good time to list your
friend's band's 3 track EP that he gave you one night when you were
out drinking. Including his band's album on your list accomplishes
two things: 1) it's a safe bet they're completely unknown, and 2) it
makes him happy. Hooray.

-- Don't include your actual favorite album. It may have been good
when you started listening to it, but now it's cliche. Deal with it.

-- Make sure to include an album that just came out. This will lead
people to believe that you got an advanced copy months ago and had
plenty of time to get into it. But WARNING- BE CAREFUL- make sure
it's not something that will become popular or produce a radio-
friendly single in the next couple of months. Nothing will kill your
indie cred than including the next Killers on your next Hip List.

-- Space out your "The" band albums appropriately. It doesn't matter
if you like The Subways the second most and The Comas third. You
throw those two bands next to one another on a list and it's going to
look like it's 2001 all over again. Be careful.

-- To really drive home the point that you're not mainstream, add a
list of "Albums that just missed the cut." There-- and ONLY there--
do you include the bands that had a song on the radio in 2005. That
way you can look at everybody else's lists and say "Oh... Bloc Party?
Yeah, they just missed the cut on my list. What, you had Silent Alarm
at number 2? Ouch."

-- Speaking of Bloc Party; If you MUST include them you better rank
the Remix album higher than the actual album. You know, to make a
point.

-- And finally, the best advice of all: don't make an End of the
Year 'Best Albums' list. Because you, like, don't have the time for
that kind of stuff. Totally. Totally.

Posted by oz115 at 08:21 PM | Comments (0)

December 21, 2005

Cha-ching

Christy was raving about this show Deal or No Deal the other day. Today, while flipping channels, I came across it on NBC. Let me say, I am addicted. It's a sumptious mix of gambling and strategy (but mostly gambling.) Explaining it, sadly, would probably take a 5,000 word dissertation.

The banker who offers to buy your briefcase is a charlatan indeed. For some reason, I am guessing he is not actually making the decision about how much to offer for the case. Instead, he surely is some mystical figure who gets his information from the producers, who determine the offer based on some mathematical formula.

Like most every other popular American game/reality show of the past few years, of course, it's cribbed from another country. But wherever they got it from, it was definitely entertaining. I imagine NBC will run it into the ground in a few months, though.

Posted by oz115 at 08:14 PM | Comments (2)

Oops

This is a good example of what not to write about in your blog:

An 18-year-old passenger who caused a fatal crash by pulling on the steering wheel pleaded guilty to DUI manslaughter after prosecutors discovered a confession on his online blog.

Blake Ranking wrote "I did it" on his blurty.com journal three days after the October 2004 crash that caused a friend's death and left another seriously injured. He had previously told investigators he remembered nothing of the crash and little of its aftermath.

Posted by oz115 at 11:21 AM | Comments (0)

December 20, 2005

Fun with guns

I've had an interesting day. Christy and I did a Secret Santa sort of deal, where you can go to the Post Office downtown, pick up a kid's letter to Santa, and then buy him stuff from his list. Buying all those presents made me feel kind of magnanimous, but also like a total square, because I did not know what the hell half the stuff these kids wanted was. One kid, for example, asked for a Batman Laptop Computer. What the dickens is that? My other kid asked for a "ball." Okay, sure - that narrows it down.

Anyhow, we bought these presents. The next task was to get the presents to the kids. We delivered them to Christy's kids, who turned out to be sisters. They were all so sweet and made little thank you notes with their handprints on them and stuff. It was cute.

Meanwhile, I am stupid. I let my presents sit in my living room for a few weeks, until today rolled around and I had only 4 days to get them where they needed to go. I went to Fed Ex them, and the bill came to a whopping $90. I said some curse words, and then I did something or other, which I am not going to tell you about, which reduced my cost. However, having picked out two letters to Santa, I also had presents for a local kid, so I went to deliver those to his family today.

I had trouble finding the apartment, because it was in an absolutely gigantic complex on the Southwest Side. I located the building management office, and asked where the building was. When they asked why I was there, and I told them, the lady said she didn't believe me. I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but it was Christmas so I couldn't do that. Plus, I probably wouldn't tell a woman to fuck off.

I figure they thought I was there to buy drugs or something, because if I was on drugs of course I would go to the building office to help them locate my dealer. After finagling the location, I scurried over there and dropped off the presents. I met the family, who were all very lovely and gracious people. The kid lives with his grandma, who was just the sweetest lady ever.

But one thing did bother me about all this. Both the girls Christy bought presents for and this kid knew about us and how we were bringing them presents. Maybe I'm idealistic and all, but I was hoping that the kids would think it was actually Santa Claus who was bringing the presents to them, and not some jackass law student. We all believed in Santa at some point, and I think it's a precious part of growing up. I rather would have had these kids believed Santa was bringing presents instead of me. Either way, I hope I made those kids' holidays a little better. Everyone deserves some love at Christmas.

Now, you're probably wondering why I titled this post "Fun with guns." I drove home to Lancaster today, and will be there for a few weeks "decompressing" from law school. As I sat in my parents' bedroom chatting, I noticed that the dog was laying on the floor. Next to him, my dad's shotgun was propped up against the wall.

Though we're all adults in the house, I still get antsy around guns. I didn't know if it was loaded or not, but I told my mom how I didn't think it was a good idea to leave a gun propped up against a wall, because someone could knock it over, set it off and pop some unsuspecting member of my family. I gingerly picked it up and put it in its proper hiding place.

Apparently my dad had the gun out because he was fixin' to shoot a stray dog. A few months back, some mean lookin' dog was hanging around the house. (This sounds like the kind of story where you need lots of fixin's and lookin's and needin's n' stuff.) My mom dubbed it Cujo, and it had yellow eyes, which made me think of Scut Farkus. I never saw the dog in person, but he sounded very unpleasant and menacing. So my dad was going to shoot it.

Now, my dad is not a violent man, but he will occasionally make use of the shotgun. There is only one time that I remember him using it, around 1992, and that was to dispatch a raccoon behind the barn who had been hissing and growling at us. Yes, I said barn. It was during the day, which is usually the sign of a rabid raccoon, because proper raccoons only come out at night. I am such a redneck.

One time he tested it out on a pumpkin. I don't know the specifics, but the shotgun did quite a number on that pumpkin. He still talks about how it put hundreds of little holes in the pumpkin, and I vowed to never let myself get shot by a shotgun.

Also, I once found the gun in its hiding place. I was mildly fascinated, but I stayed away from it. I'd seen one too many after school specials about kids and guns that I wanted nothing to do with it. I was 18 at the time. Okay, just kidding. It was more like 16. Remember, guns don't kill people, I kill people.

Posted by oz115 at 11:20 PM | Comments (1)

December 19, 2005

Speechless

You're a star, millionaire baseball player. You've just made it to the World Series, and you can have anything you want in the world. What do you ask for? If you're Roy Oswalt, you want a bulldozer:

McLane said a bulldozer has been on Oswalt's wish list almost from the day he moved up to the majors in 2001. The model he purchased for Oswalt cost about $200,000.

"Each year, with our players, I ask them what their goals are,'' McLane said. "I said, 'Roy, what is one of your goals?' He said, 'To own a bulldozer.' That kind of took me back a little bit. I had never heard that before.''

Posted by oz115 at 06:19 PM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2005

Big pimpin

Christy is a rock star. We flew to John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, CA for her employer holiday party. We met her colleague Amy. We rented a car. They upgraded us to a convertible, and I almost pooped myself when I got to drive it. Grr!

Then, we checked into the hotel. It's got a phone in the bathroom. It's got a minibar. We're on the concierge level. I have no idea what concierge levels are all about, but apparently it's for high rollers. We have our own private lounge with free snack foods! With our own personal bartender. The elevator won't go to our floor unless we have a key for a room on that floor. We are pimps.

To top it off, across the hall from us is the Presidential Suite. I know we're not in the actual Presidential Suite, but we can bask in its glory because we are next to it. As we walked out our room earlier, the guy in the Suite was getting room service. He had two entrees, a bucket of ice and a bottle of wine. You go, boy.

Posted by oz115 at 08:20 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2005

Snow day

If there's one thing that drives me bonkers about living in Chicago, it's that you never, ever get snow days. Back in the boondocks of Ohio, almost any snow guaranteed you a day off school. But in Chicago, there could be two feet of snow and they'd expect your ass there at the appointed time. It's really quite frustrating.

I don't know how much it snowed in Lancaster yesterday, but a bunch of the schools are closed or on delays. One of my favorite childhood memories was when I would wake up in the morning after a snowfall and switch on the radio or TV to look at the school closings. As the announcer read through the alphabetical listing, my anticipation would increase until he got to the L's. Then, when Lancaster City Schools would be officially closed for snow, I would let out a whoop... and go promptly back to sleep. But not in Chicago. No, not here. It's a shame. They're just too good with the plowing. City of Broad Shoulders and all that. An impromptu snow day is a gift, a time for relaxation, staying in the house and eating warm soup. Maybe going outside for a sled ride. But it's something every kid should get to experience in his life.

One year, it was so cold in Lancaster they closed the schools for TWO straight weeks. We missed ten days of school. Nothing. No learnin' whatsoever. Because it was COLD. But they got us back: they took away spring break. D'Oh.

Posted by oz115 at 12:46 PM | Comments (1)

Good times

Yesterday we had my "Freedom Fest," to celebrate the completion of my first semester of law school. Huzzah! Christy and I started off with some Mexican food, and then we attempted to see the Pompei exhibit at the Field Museum. But, dontcha know, the museum closed at 4 for a private party! Fuck that shit!

Instead, we then walked up to Millennium Park and went skating at the outdoor ice rink. As you can tell, the Freedom Fest was a rockin' party.

Afterwards, I decided it was time to hit the bottle. We went up to the Brew n View, saw "Wedding Crashers" and drank lots and lots of beer. The night concluded with a late night pizza binge. Now, I have a massive hangover. Dare I say it? Good times!

Posted by oz115 at 12:41 PM | Comments (1)

December 13, 2005

Happy anniversary

From a quite reliable source, I learned this fellow was captured two years ago today:

Fair enough. But what about, oh, you know, that other guy?

Posted by oz115 at 09:35 PM | Comments (2)

Unconscionable

Why I never! Well... Okay, I suppose if I do ever become an actual lawyer, maybe I'd try something like this if my opponent happened to be a particularly dickish individual.

So, here's a class they don't teach in law school: screwing over your opponent just in time for the holidays. They probably should. For anyone with even a lick of evil in their soul and a filament of creativity in their brain, the law offers a whole host of opportunities for wrecking the lives of others.

Consider the perfectly timed restraining order, or the spontaneous motion for an order to show cause—or in fact anything that could bury the other side in research and paperwork the day before Christmas. Think about the possibilities for 11th-hour changes in the visitation schedule for the children—requiring canceled plane tickets and Christmas Eve court appearances. Or the last-minute effort to have a local crèche or tree deemed unconstitutional.

Sure, we'd all like to pretend this stuff doesn't happen. Until they get a few drinks in us and we start to brag about all the vile and devious tricks we've pulled to wreck the other side's holidays. And for any lawyer reading this column who is shocked, shocked to learn that some attorneys deliberately file motions and pleadings in order to trash the Christmas season for others, well, just go back to saving the Mediterranean Monk Seal or whatever it is you do.

So, not only does Slate want to hear the meanest thing you've ever done to an opponent on the holidays, but we want to reward the most contemptuously awful stunt we unearth with lovely swag. Let us know whether we can print your name. (As if.) Please send your most evil pre-holiday shenanigans to grinchesq@hotmail.com. The best stories will be reprinted here shortly, and the Most Evil Attorney in the World will be showered with Slate paraphernalia. This contest is also open to anyone, anywhere with stories of hideous pre-holiday lawyer shenanigans, whether they were perpetrated upon you by counsel on the other side, by bosses in your law firm, or you merely heard about them from some sad-sack lawyer in a bar on Christmas morning. Still, Slate reserves the right to limit showers of swag to those brave enough to turn themselves in for being the worst holiday cretins of all time.

'Tis the season to be Grinchly. I look forward to your responses.

Posted by oz115 at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)

Argh

I've often been tempted to write in to my beloved Flyer News to criticize an editorial. The only thing that stopped me was that I'd rather not have everyone say, look at that schmuck, he graduated four (holy shit!) years ago and he still reads the student newspaper. But for Christ's sake, what is this thing all about?

“Merry Christmas.” Two simple words I equate with December and frequently say as Christmas draws nearer. I, for one, am lucky to have grown up in a small, public school where “Merry Christmas” is not banned and there was a Christmas tree and lights in the high school office. I am also glad that, on this campus, “Merry Christmas” is welcome by students and professors alike.

What ever happened to free speech? I can freely write blasphemous books and anti-governmental books, but I cannot use this constitutional rite to say four simple syllables in some place? To me at least, this does not make sense.

What in blazes? I am very interested to see if there is any place that actively punishes you for saying "Merry Christmas." Seems to me there aren't.

To me, this whole issue boils down to people being idiots. This goes on the Merry Christmas side, and the Happy Holidays side. You, Mr. Defender of the Faith: calm down. It's a greeting. Don't get all bent out of shape because there happens to be people who don't celebrate Christmas. And you, Mr. Non-Denominational Greeting: don't get your panties in a bunch. If someone says Merry Christmas to you, it's probably not because they are trying to offend you.

Posted by oz115 at 10:31 AM | Comments (1)

December 12, 2005

Cold as a witch's,,,

So for some reason, my apartment had been exceptionally cold over the last few days. It wasn't call the cops 'cause my landlady is a slumlord kind of cold (she's not, she's the sweetest lady ever), but it was cold enough that I wanted to go to sleep in a sweatshirt.

I attributed this to the fact it was 5 degrees outside, and thought nothing of it. However, when the weather inched up to a more tolerable 25 degrees, I still found the place to be chilly. When I asked some people what they thought I should do about it, the answer was simple: open the f'ing door.

I live in the garden apartment, which can also not-so-charitably be called the "basement." Fine. I don't care. It's an apartment, it's comfy, and there's no infestations. And oh yes, did I mention it's cheap? So there. But what was my point? Yeah. There's a door in the kitchen of my apartment that goes out into the furnace room and the hallway, which goes to the laundry room. Snazzy.

But this furnance is something else. Step into the furnance room, and it's like hell, or at least purgatory. The suggestion I heretofore had failed to heed was that I should leave that door open, making no barrier between myself and the furnace room. And you know something? It works! The place is still not going to be mistaken for San Diego, but it's certainly an improvement.

However, I have to admit I am worried about the whole privacy issue. I am basically leaving my door wide open for anyone to come take a peak. Granted, only six other people are in the house, and only two of them are ever back in the furnace room, but I've had to take some extra security measures. I no longer visit the bathroom or take a shower with the door open. It's not like I am some big perv who wants people to come see me in the shower, I just don't bother closing the door. I'm lazy. But now I close the door. Similarly, I don't hang out in the kitchen too much, because I am anti-social and don't want to have to say hi to anyone who happens to amble past my gaping door.

It is, I suppose, a small price to pay for warmth. I can deal with it.

Posted by oz115 at 10:59 AM | Comments (0)

Tell me more

Have you ever thought about a career in embalming dead people? Hey, you're never going to run out of 'em!

Career day at Concord High School in Staten Island brought in firefighters, postal workers - and a well-dressed man with a brochure titled "Searching for a career that's 6 feet above the rest?"

Matthew Funeral Home co-owner Matthew Scamardella talked to students about his job, showed a video about funeral directing and - he hopes - nudged some teens toward a different career path.

Funeral directors nationwide are focusing on keeping their ranks flush amid fears they may not be able to meet demand when baby boomers start reaching the end of their natural life spans.

In New York, funeral directors are reaching out to guidance counselors and a few dozen, like Scamardella, are taking the campaign to their local high schools.

"We definitely need to have more people thinking about funeral service as a calling," said Scamardella, a third-generation funeral director. "Your average youngster is not going to waltz into funeral service and say, "Oh, I'll just give it a go.' "

Posted by oz115 at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)

December 10, 2005

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Ah, it's the holidays. Christmas. Hannukah. Kwanzaa. Whatever your faith, you're getting some loot this December. With the holidays comes those ridiculous commercials for Lexus, with a brand spanking new Lexus wrapped up in a bow:

I guess I'm in a minority here, but I just can't stand seeing those Lexuses with bows on them. I don't know why, but I think it's stupid. I mean, I think it's great to get a car for Christmas, and I sure wouldn't complain if somebody gave me one. But for Christ's sake, don't put a bow on it. It's cheesy. Plus, where do you get a giant bow? And doesn't it flop in the wind when you try to drive it?

Does anyone agree with me? Or am I an idiot? Do bows on cars suck?

Posted by oz115 at 10:21 PM | Comments (3)

December 09, 2005

God bless Chuck Norris

There are no words to describe this.

Posted by oz115 at 12:25 PM | Comments (1)

December 07, 2005

Nobody's happy now

Man, President Bush can't do anything right lately. The "Christian Right," who like to take credit for Bush's two electoral victories, are pissed at the Commander in Chief for his holiday greeting card:

This month, as in every December since he took office, President Bush sent out cards with a generic end-of-the-year message, wishing 1.4 million of his close friends and supporters a happy holiday season.

Many people are thrilled to get a White House Christmas card, no matter what the greeting inside. But some conservative Christians are reacting as if Bush stuck coal in their stockings.

"This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture," said William Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

Bush "claims to be a born-again, evangelical Christian. But he sure doesn't act like one," said Joseph Farah, editor of the conservative Web site WorldNetDaily .com. "I threw out my White House card as soon as I got it."

Religious conservatives are miffed because they have been pressuring stores to advertise Christmas sales rather than holiday specials and urging schools to let students out for Christmas vacation rather than for winter break.

Take a chill pill, Mr. Donahue! Have a seat, Mr. Farah! I thought President Bush wanted to be a uniter, not a divider. And there's no surer way to start dividing people than to exclude their religion from something.

Sure, you could argue that this has the effect of being a reverse division, because Christians who bleat about the reason for the season feel like they're being forsaken.

Nevertheless, this, to me, is a pile of hooey. It's a product of living in a free and open society. I'm sure there's space somewhere on a tropical island if you want to start a Christians-only country. And hope they can get a sweet Target to open there, too.

Posted by oz115 at 09:39 AM | Comments (3)

December 06, 2005

Where do I sign up?

Got this in my spam today:

Hello my name is Amy,

I am a fun loving, attractive, intelegent woman. I will be in the USA for 12 months on business.
I really enjoy meeting new people it's so exciting. I recieve free air fares so I travel quite
often.

Apparently she needs a spellchecker! Or perhaps English is not her first language? Nevertheless, I've already got myself a fun loving, attractive, "intelegent" woman. Weeeeee!!!

Posted by oz115 at 09:22 AM | Comments (1)

December 05, 2005

Law time

This week and next week will be taken up by the evil that is law school final exams. Can you believe my first-ever semester as a law student is almost up? Me either, which is why I am pooping myself in fright at what awaits me.

So, to best serve my interests, here is my analysis of the Boston Red Sox' asinine lawsuit to recover the historic World Series winning ball from Doug Mientkiewicz.

The Red Sox asked a judge to let the team keep the ball that Doug Mientkiewicz caught for the final out that clinched Boston's 2004
World Series title.

Ownership of the ball has been in dispute during the 13 months since pitcher Keith Foulke flipped it to Mientkiewicz, giving Boston a four-game sweep of the
St. Louis Cardinals and its first World Series championship in 86 years.

Mientkiewicz, who clutched the ball in his glove and joined teammates in celebration, later put the ball in a safe deposit box and claimed ownership when the Red Sox asked for it.

Ah, so the issue here is whether the Red Sox or Mientkiewicz own the ball. Somebody supposedly said possession is 9/10 of the law. If this is so, title is the other 1/10, and that is the most important part of all.

The Red Sox claim that because Mientkiewicz was an employee of the Sox, and he acquired the ball during the course of his employment, the ball belongs to the Sox. Objects usually acquired during the scope of employment become property of the employer, especially if its a work-related object such as a baseball.

On the other hand, Mientkiewicz can argue the Sox have no claim to the ball at all. Although Mientkiewicz was acting as an employee, the ball never belonged to the Sox. It belonged to their opponent, the St. Louis Cardinals. The game was played in St. Louis, and the home team is responsible for supplying all the balls, though in the World Series Major League Baseball may have supplied them. Boston can't claim to have had any control over the situation when it was not operating on its own field and did not supply the baseballs. Furthermore, there is no indication St. Louis ever abandoned its interest in the ball.

If anything, the St. Louis Cardinals have the most valid claim to the ball. But, if they want to get the ball back, they would have to sue for its return. In the Red Sox vs. Mientkiewicz dispute, Boston's argument that Mientkiewicz was acting as an employee of the Red Sox is very applicable. The only reason he got the ball was because he was an employee of the Sox. Because of this, I believe a judge will likely rule Boston owns the baseball.

But, if St. Louis wants to be a bunch of dicks, they could probably sue for the ball's return, as well. My own personal opinion is that the Boston Red Sox are also being dicks in this case, so why shouldn't everyone be dicks?

Posted by oz115 at 08:37 PM | Comments (2)

December 02, 2005

There oughta be a law

I'm glad Congress is "tackling" the important stuff:

Calling the Bowl Championship Series "deeply flawed," the chairman of a congressional committee has called a hearing on the controversial system used to determine college football's national champion.

A House Energy and Commerce subcommittee, charged with regulating America's sports industry, announced Friday it will conduct a hearing on the BCS next week, after this season's bowl matchups are determined.

"College football is not just an exhilarating sport, but a billion-dollar business that Congress cannot ignore," said committee Chairman Joe Barton, a Texas Republican. Barton's panel is separate from the House Government Reform panel that tackled steroids in baseball.

The committee announcement called the hearing, scheduled for next Wednesday, a "comprehensive review" of the BCS and postseason college football.

"Too often college football ends in sniping and controversy, rather than winners and losers," Barton said. "The current system of determining who's No. 1 appears deeply flawed."

Posted by oz115 at 07:56 PM | Comments (1)

I don't want to know

What could Fox possibly have up its sleeve with this?

Casting call for young male farmers

The producers of “American Idol” are looking for a few young male farmers to be the stars of a new reality show.

The producers from FremantleMedia are in Columbus through Saturday.The men must be farmers younger than 32 who are single and looking for a long-term relationship.

E-mail a short biography and photograph to castingreality1@yahoo.com. Producers will choose candidates they wish to interview this week.

If you’d be willing to share your reality show casting experience with the Lancaster Eagle-Gazette, please contact City Editor Amanda Miller at 740-681-4526 or agmiller@nncogannett.com.

Posted by oz115 at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)

December 01, 2005

And he still got away

Here's why it's important to know how to drive a stickshift:

Alleged Bank Robber Has Difficult Getaway

RAYMORE, Mo. - A man who robbed a bank Thursday using a kitchen knife and a small cooler had trouble with his getaway, the FBI said, but still had not been found hours later.

FBI spokesman Jeff Lanza said a man wearing all black, including a black nylon stocking over his head and black cap, walked into the Allen Bank and Trust in Raymore at 4:55 p.m. Thursday and demanded money. Lanza said the man was carrying a knife and a small cooler that the robber said contained a bomb.

Lanza said that after the man helped himself to money in the tellers' drawers, he demanded car keys, making a special request that the vehicle be outfitted with keyless entry — something no one in the bank had.

Instead, the man ended up with a Toyota Camry with a manual transmission, even though he apparently couldn't drive a stick shift, Lanza said. The man gave up, leaving the car in front of the bank before disappearing.

But Lanza said authorities aren't sure if the man left on foot or found another ride. When law enforcement arrived, the suspect couldn't be found.

Lanza described the suspect as a 5-foot-10 black man in his 20s.

Posted by oz115 at 10:13 AM | Comments (0)