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February 16, 2006
I'll be damned
You know, I rarely agree with Miss Manners, especially because she uses the decidedly unmannerly third person - "Miss Manners thinks X" in all her correspondence. But, she nailed it when she derided the venerable institution of the high school prom.
Now, for whatever reason, I have always had a creepy feeling about high school proms. I don't think it's because they can get expensive, or even because kids get the chance to zip around town in a limo. But everytime I think about proms, I get all agitated.
So you can imagine my interest when Miss Manners herself condemned the prom, and I think I agree with her reasoning:
Her objections to the prom are that it has become crass, and that it serves as a training ground for even crasser weddings.
What do you say to that, kids?
What they say is, "So what? It's just supposed to be fun." And then their adult defenders ask what on earth she expects from teenagers -- that they should behave like little social climbers, heaven forbid?
Heaven forbid. But that is exactly what they are doing.
High school proms were never exactly decorous. The idea was to assume the privileges of grown-ups, as they had personally observed them. They actually assumed -- can you imagine? -- that the lives of their parents were more fun than their own.
...
Being grown-up is no longer a state to which anyone seems to aspire. Not even grown-ups. Any glamour that may have been attached to it has disappeared in the increasing freedoms and prevailing styles of youth.
And so the pattern for that anachronistic institution, the prom, is taken from the lives of pop celebrities -- the suddenly enriched who go wild with their appearances and behavior.
It would indeed be wonderful if high school seniors had a chance to sample the real pleasures of formality that are missing from compulsively casual modern life. Variety of style, even if it was no more elaborate than "Sunday best" or "company manners," was pleasurable. That there is still a craving for occasional formality is evident on the two such occasions left for it -- the prom and the wedding. It would be nice if the older generation could show them what it really is.
A hint: It is not riding around town in an impossibly long and expensive car, throwing up.
Dude! This is it! The prom is supposed to be classy - not trashy! Clearly this is the problem. I'd feel a lot better about proms if they were like that damn cute Enchantment Under the Sea dance in "Back to the Future," as opposed to people hanging out the roof of their limosuines like in that Saturday Night Live sketch.
Posted by oz115 at February 16, 2006 11:52 AM
Comments
Well, you had to go there, eh kiddo?
My prom was NOT trashy in the least, yet you have put it down time and time again. We all took limos to the first stop where we had a wonderful formal dinner and dance. All very classy... at a hotel in Schaumburg.
Then those coach busses picked us up and took us downtown to Navy Pier for the post prom activity. We got to walk down the pier at Navy Pier all dressed up... it felt like being in a movie. And we got to cruise all around Lake Michigan until all hours of the night on The Spirit of Chicago yacht. There were magicians, DJs, kareoke, dancing, food, etc. It was AWESOME!
And obviously the PTA paid for the post prom- it was to keep kids from going to house parties and getting loaded!
Afterwards, the busses picked us up and took us back to the hotel where we got into our limos and they took us home.
The entire thing was amazing. Classy, fun, and different. I don't remember seeing anyone drunk or puking.
and what would you prefer... you kids to be drunk and driving themselves around on prom night, or if they are gonna drink no matter what you do... would you prefer them to be cruising around town in a limo... driven by a sober person!?
Posted by: Christy Your Love! at February 16, 2006 04:08 PM
First, I was not putting down your prom. While I wasn't there, by all accounts it was what a prom was supposed to be - a fancy night out, where people get to get dressed up and act all adultlike. And hey, a limo is fine. I was a bit hasty to condemn limos the first time the subject came up, and I am perfectly fine with those.
However, I am not fine, for example, with parents who buy kegs of beer for after parties, let their daughter spend $8,000 on a Versace dress, or otherwise turn the thing into a night of debauchery. I think you would agree with me that things like that are excessive. I'm not saying people should pick up their date in a Chevy van and buy her dinner at Denny's, but I also think there should be a little more maturity.
Posted by: tim at February 16, 2006 05:32 PM
Mister Male Ego,
It has come to my attention that you are telling a certain lovely lady that I drunk dialed her because I wanted to know who the random girls in your phone were.
Ummm... how is it that you only remembered half the story? Did you forget that YOU were constantly checking my "Recent Calls" list? Did you forget that that evening you went thru my "contacts" list and deleted guys from my phone!?
And after that, to get revenge, I called ONE person in your phone... interesting how you twisted that story around!
Posted by: Lady Christy at February 16, 2006 08:37 PM