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March 29, 2006
Miscellaneous Region, second round
Now that I'm done stewing over that ridiculous laptop ban reaction, let's get back to Faux March Madness, shall we?
#1 John Wayne 88, #8 Marmaduke 65. U-G-L-Y. The Duke died more than 30 years ago, yet he is still a living legend. On the other hand, Marmaduke has been living off the same joke - he's a clumsy dog - for as long as I have been alive. Sure, one can say John Wayne played the same character in every movie, but that's doing him a disservice. Plus, cartoonists can put Marmaduke in any possible situation, yet somehow they never do.
#2 Winston Churchill 79, #7 Kurt Cobain 60. Kurt Cobain did all that swell stuff with Nirvana, but Churchill is one formidable mofo. For example, when the going got tough for Winston, he didn't, you know, kill himself.
#11 Tim Horton 72, #14 Vanilla Ice 64. Ice's Cinderella run comes to an end. Tim Horton's legacy is as a hockey player, charitable guy and donut entrepreneur. On the other hand, Vanilla Ice had to cop the bassline from his most famous song from David Bowie. Some accomplishment! You know MC Hammer is in trouble when Vanilla Ice is taking him to the cleaners.
#4 Condoleeza Rice 75, #5 Achilles 68. I did quite enjoy Achilles' work in the Trojan War, but that damn thing dragged on for ten years. Condi's only got two more years to make something happen, so she won't have to deal with that Iraq thing much longer. Also, Condi doesn't have ultra-lame superpower of being invincible except for her left ankle.
So there you go. The Miscellaneous Region sends four teams to the Swell Sixteen! The matchups are:
#1 John Wayne vs. #4 Condoleeza Rice
#2 Winston Churchill vs. #11 Tim Horton
Awesome stuff!
entry no. 464
Posted by oz115 at March 29, 2006 11:21 PM
Comments
It wasn't bad enough that Ice ripped off Bowie/Queen. But he had the gall to claim that his riff was different than "Under Pressure." Please. At least Hammer freely admitted to ripping off Rick James. And Tim Horton's baby just went public. No contest.
Posted by: Pete at March 30, 2006 09:30 AM
Yeah Churchill!
I'm not a big Nirvana fan, mostly because it all sounds like whiny BS to me. It makes me smile to see a true man's man (and alcoholic to boot!) beat the shit out of that sniveling pansy.
-G
Posted by: Gentile at March 30, 2006 03:30 PM