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July 29, 2006
The life
My parents have this dog, Simon. He's quite a character. When he first came to the house, he had a bit of a discipline problem, which is to say he growled at a little girl who tried to pet him. My dad has quite an affection for the dog, and he was so afraid that he'd bite somebody and be sent up the river, that he hired a dog trainer. The trainer, a silver-haired fellow called Terry, did all sorts of things, and he may have scared Simon straight. It was like when they send the juvenile delinquints to boot camp on the Montel Williams show.
Then they started taking him out to lunch almost every day in order to "socialize" him. Instead, I think they managed to turn him into a creampuff. It's about a year later now, and Simon is starting to fit in nicely, which is to say he's figured out how to get whatever he wants. He still goes out to lunch with my parents. He's gone twice in the week I've been here, and his favorite food is Chicken McNuggets.
My mom dotes on him, possibly because he is usually her only company during the day. My dad treats him like a 50's dad would treat his son, imparting nuggets of wisdom such as, "You have to learn to play with other dogs, for I will not always be here to rescue you from other dogs."
Apparently, he also never eats dog food. Before I came home, I was talking to my mom on the phone when she told me how she made scrambled eggs for the dog, and they made him throw up. My first thought was: you made scrambled eggs for the dog? You don't make scrambled eggs for me! Our previous dog, the dearly departed Indiana, also had a favorite breakfast food: waffles. But only if they had syrup on them.
Then, tonight I cooked some steaks and hamburgers on the grill. My mom made two hamburger patties: one for her, and one for the dog. She told me, save this one for the dog. And he ate that burger up like it was his job.
But there are others vying for human food. We also have four cats who prowl around the house: Rick, Gordie, Artie and Tony. Everytime the grill gets lit, they suddenly appear on the patio, taking a look to see what is cooking. In fact, it's the only time you can get all four of them to sit still. If you are not careful, they'll jump on the grill and try to steal the meat. Seeing as I like to encourage their behavior, I gave each of them a chunk of hamburger. So today, all four cats and the dog got people food.
I will say this: if you are an animal, and you find yourself in the good graces of my family, you will eat as the kings did.
Posted by oz115 at July 29, 2006 10:15 PM