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August 31, 2006
Riddle me this
Is it bad manners to steal questions from another advice columnist? I am compelled to ask after the identical query appeared in both Dear Prudence and Miss Manners. However, there is no shortage of people seeking advice from whoever will listen, so perhaps the letter writer felt the need to get the opinions of both ladies.
Here is the Dear Prudence version:
Dear Prudie,
Our daughter is planning her wedding. The bride and groom are 28 years old, and this is the first marriage for both. They have college degrees and good-paying jobs. In fact they make approximately twice what my husband and I make. Both the bride and groom have their own homes. Neither of them have been dependent on either of their parents for five years. My daughter feels that traditionally parents should pay for the entire wedding and want to do so. I realize that I married 32 years ago and things are not the same price as they once were, but $15,000 to $20,000 is hard for us to handle. I want to do the right thing, but should the bride and groom help with the wedding expense, or should all of the cost fall to the parents? My husband and I are planning to borrow most of the money for this wedding.
—Mother of the Bride
And here's the Miss Manners version:
Dear Miss Manners: Who should be responsible for the cost of the wedding? Should the bride and groom help with the wedding expenses, or should all of the cost fall to the parents?
Our daughter is planning her wedding. The bride and groom are 28 years old, and this is the first marriage for each. They have college degrees and good-paying jobs. In fact, they make approximately twice what the mother and father of the bride do. The bride and groom each have their own home. Neither of them has been dependent on their parents for five years.
My daughter feels that traditionally parents should pay for the entire wedding and want to do so. I realize that I married 32 years ago and things are not the same price as they once were but $15,000 to $20,000 is a little hard to handle.
I will also mention: Mom and Dad will be borrowing most of the money for this wedding. I need some help on this matter. I do want to do the right thing.
If this discovery should lead to the downfall of Miss Manners in a plagiarism scandal, yours truly deserves some credit for exposing this derelict behavior!
Posted by oz115 at August 31, 2006 11:26 PM
Comments
Well, what did the ladies have to say? I think the kids should pay the majority.... esp in THIS situation.
Posted by: Christy at September 2, 2006 02:41 PM
That's not plagiarism, it's just lack of imagination on the part of the question-asker. They copied and pasted the same letter to two columns.
Anyway, the answer is simple. In both letters she had to qualify the bride and groom by saying this was the first marriage for both. If marriage needs such a statement in this day and age, then there is obviously somethin wrong with the system. So in short, they should save themselves the hassle (and money) and not get married. Instead, maybe move in with each other and have a kick-ass party, that would cost what? $1000 at the most? I'd go.
Posted by: G at September 3, 2006 10:41 AM