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October 24, 2006
Yuck!
I am a stupid, stupid man. Christy and I made a bet a few weeks ago regarding the outcome of the Buffalo Bills vs. the Chicago Bears. If you've read this here commentary for any amount of time, you know that I love all things Buffalo, NY. (Well... Not all things.)
Anyway, I bet Christy that if the Bills won, she had to eat ten buffalo wings, which she detests. If the Bears won, I had to eat ten green olives, which I consider a food of the most objectionable variety. It's right up there on my hate-scale with cottage cheese and applesauce. The smell of a green olive makes me gag. I never understood how Christy, this sweet, dainty girl, could put such a thing in her mouth, nor how she could crave olives so much that she squirts olive juice in her martinis.
Well, you probably know what happened in the football game. Christy is never one to forget an opportunity to humiliate me, so last Saturday I finally had to eat my olives. She even had a special t-shirt made for me, and a video camera to record the whole event.
The ten olives sat on the plate, their pimento insides mocking me, waiting for me to consume them. I was shaking in my shoes. I picked the first olive up, considered it for a moment, and then I quickly placed it in my mouth. I chewed it in the back of my mouth, as far away from my tastebuds as I could keep it. I chewed the olive for 45 seconds or so, until I was able to swallow it with one big gulp. I winced when the chewy pimento started to cruch. I hated the idea of having to eat 9 more.
But I did eat 9 more. I drank lots of water, and ate lots of bread in an effort to keep the awful olive taste at bay. I only gagged once, on the fourth olive. But I did it, and it was magnificent. Christy offered me $100 to eat ten more. I didn't hesitate: hell no! I probably wouldn't do it for $1000. All I can say is, there's no way a buffalo wing is as bad as an olive.
Posted by oz115 at October 24, 2006 10:25 AM
Comments
Actually, you dont put dry vermuth in a dirty martini. It's just vodka and olive juice and green olives... hopefully stuffed with blue cheese . Dry Vermuth goes in a dry martini... not a dirty...
Posted by: C-Poo at October 24, 2006 04:49 PM
Green Olives are awesome! What kind of pansy are you? You can get them stuffed with all kinds of awesome stuff, onion, garlic, jalepeno, almonds. I think Olives are a mediterranean thing, maybe that's why I enjoy them so...
Dirty Martini's rock my world, Christy knows, I stole hers in Milwaukee :-) Jill has some 'Olive Brine' which she claims makes a way better dirty martini than just the olive juice from a jar of olives.
Yes they are one of lifes more potent flavors/smells, but oh so yummy. There are way worse things that could be in Christy's Sweet, Dainty, mouth.
I also love wings.
Posted by: G at October 24, 2006 07:05 PM