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February 23, 2007
Why I love hockey
I have two delightful ice hockey stories for you. First, the goalie for USC's hockey team did his best Happy Gilmore impression during a game. Unfortunately, life doesn't imitate art, as he soon learned:
Mickey Meyer rode his stick like a horse, dropped his bulky pants, mooned the crowd and slapped his buttocks during a game against Brigham Young University, police said.
He was ejected and ticketed for lewdness, a misdemeanor, after an officer who was working security at the rink said he witnessed the scene Saturday.
"I had my fill of these refs," Meyer said on an Internet broadcast of the game, according to The Herald-Journal of Logan.
Meyer's antics occurred while play was stopped and referees were trying to sort out penalties in the third period of a consolation game in the ACHA West Regional tournament at Eccles Ice Center.
The junior from Clinton, N.Y., was "riding his hockey stick like a horse and slapping his butt," North Park Officer Mike Stauffer said in a report.
After pulling down his pants, Meyer slapped his bare bottom several times, Stauffer said.
So you see, ice hockey is a good way to blow off some steam. Release your inner demons, if you will. And who is in need of some time away from it all? Miss Britney Spears, that's who. Luckily the fine folks in Syracuse, New York have just the ticket:
The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League have offered Britney Spears a quiet weekend getaway by extending to the troubled pop singer an all-expenses-paid trip to snow bound northern New York.
“The team and community want to provide Britney Spears with a stress-free environment and the chance to experience a high level of hockey,” said Crunch president Howard Dolgon.
“In addition to being 3,000 miles away from Hollywood , Syracuse is light years away from that pretentious environment.
“There won’t be paparazzi within 100 miles.”
...
The Crunch is also offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their Feb. 24 game against the Manitoba Moose.
If Spears accepts the Crunch’s invitation, each member of the club’s front office staff will also shave their heads.
A fabulous idea. However, I don't find the notion that there will be no paparazzi within 100 miles very convincing. Those guys find a way - even to Syracuse. Canada is like 150 miles away from Syracuse, so Canadian paparazzi will have something to do. That's, like, three photographers right there. Plus, they always seem to be around to snap a celebrity in some compromising position, no matter what desolate (though probably tropical) corner of the world they choose to visit. Hell, I bet if Neil Armstrong landed on the moon today, the next edition of US Weekly would have a telescopic lens picture of him scratching his ass: Astronauts - They're Just Like Us!
entry no. 761
Posted by oz115 at February 23, 2007 04:30 PM