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March 15, 2007
Faux March Madness, History Region
Let's take a look at the results from the first round of the Faux March Madness Tournament. First up, we have the History Region. Not many surprises here.
#1 George Washington 88, #16 George III 65. The King gets a pounding, as the Father of Our Country takes the mental unbalanced monarch to the woodshed. What else would you expect from the guy who lost the American colonies and saw fit to add Ireland to the UK? Good job with that one, George.
#8 Marie Curie 75, #9 Wilhelm Roentgen 72. This was a much closer affair. They both have Nobel Prizes, after all. Roentgen discovered the X-ray and made all sorts of advances, but Marie Curie has a little something extra: name recognition and that feminine mystique. Not too mention she was Albert's love interest in Young Einstein.
#5 Thomas Edison 79, #12 Alexander Graham Bell 70. Another close one. Edison wins for the sheer number of inventions he patented, including that doozy of a light bulb. What did Bell give us? The telephone. Fat lot of good that thing has done us lately, with the possible exception of booty calls. I guess that is good. Not that I would know.
#13 Chief Justice John Marshall 66, #4 Hammurabi 59. Our first real upset! Hammurabi gets credit for creating the first modern system of justice, but who really likes that eye for an eye crap? Marshall, meanwhile, asserted the power of judicial review that keeps Congress and the President from running roughshod over the Constitution. At least we still have that going for us.
#11 Gutenberg 77, #6 Martin Luther 74. Another upset! Gutenberg is the highly underrated inventor of the modern printing press, and his invention allowed for the mass distribution of literature for the first time. What'd Luther do with that power? Started the Protestant Revolution, of course. Thanks, Luther, that didn't create centuries of sectarian violence or anything.
#14 Amelia Earhart 64, #3 Charles Lindbergh 63. Ouch! Down goes the 3 seed. Flying across the Atlantic solo was pretty cool, I won't lie. But Amelia Earhart was one ballsy lady, and the whole disappearing without a trace thing seals the deal. And what'd Lindbergh do after his incredible feat? Get his baby kidnapped... Bra-vo.
#7 Genghis Khan 82, #10 Hannibal 73. This wasn't very close. Khan was a maniac of the first degree, raising hell all throughout the east. Hannibal had a good run, but that whole elephants in the Alps thing didn't make much sense. In the end, the Romans simply whooped his ass.
#2 Abraham Lincoln 77, #15 U.S. Grant 70. Grant probably didn't deserve such a low seed, but it doesn't matter in the end. Grant's meat-grinder tactics may have won the Civil War, but only because Lincoln gave him the power. And Lincoln managed to keep the country from falling apart during the war. Plus, Grant was not known as a very pleasant fellow, while Lincoln had a highly-regarded personality. As last year's contestant Jules Winnfield would say, personality goes a long way.
So those are the results. The second round of the History Region features these intriguing matchups:
#1 George Washington v. #8 Marie Curie.
#5 Thomas Edison v. #13 John Marshall.
#11 Johannes Gutenberg v. #14 Amelia Earhart.
#2 Abraham Lincoln v. #7 Genghis Khan.
Dizamn! Check back tomorrow for the results of the Chicago Region.
entry no. 778
Posted by oz115 at March 15, 2007 09:20 AM