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March 20, 2007
Faux March Madness, Miscellaneous Region
Well it's time to see who the winners are in the first round of the Miscellaneous Region. Are there any upsets to be had this time around?
#1 Martha Stewart 68, #16 Rachael Ray 63. This was probably the closest of the 1/16 matchups, but Martha is simply too powerful. I love Rachael Ray, I really do, but Martha is the undisputed domestic queen. Rachael Ray, really, all she can do is cook. Martha does everything. She ain't the number 1 seed for nothing.
#2 Bill O'Reilly 59, #15 Ann Coulter 52. Neither of these two really deserve to win, but I have to take Bill O'Reilly because, unlike Ann Coulter, he doesn't resort exclusively to petty name calling and inflammatory statements. Or, put another way, Coulter is an act and O'Reilly seems to really believe what he says. You can fake your way through political punditry, but not Faux March Madness.
#3 Frank Sinatra 69, #14 Neil Diamond 62. The Chairman of the Board defeats The Jewish Elvis. Now, I prefer Neil Diamond's music to Sinatra's, but Sinatra is the total package. Whether it's mob affiliations, drunken escapades or simply being a Rat Packer, he's a prototypical bad boy. However, Sinatra SNL sketches are about as equally comical as Neil Diamond SNL sketches.
#13 Christina Aguilera 69, #4 Britney Spears 52. Oh poor Britney, she was severely overhyped. It looked for awhile that Britney Spears was going to come out of her early twenties unscathed, but then she went into a downward spiral of babies, drugs, white trash boyfriend's and Paris Hilton. Christina, on the other hand, has significantly classed up her image, kept her marriage going, and leads a relatively normal life at this point. Britney needs to get her ass in rehab and stay there.
#5 Will Ferrell 72, #12 Ben Stiller 66. Will Ferrell may as well be the king of comedies at this point, and Stiller can't seem to buy a hit. Strange comedies like Anchorman and Ricky Bobby have kept Ferrell flying high, but Ben Stiller is trudging along in unimpressive fare like A Night at the Museum. I bet he longs for the days of There's Something About Mary.
#6 Oscar Wilde 68, #11 Samuel Taylor Coleridge 60. These drug-addled poets/playwrights sure duked it out, but I have to give the edge to Oscar Wilde for his larger body of work, and for getting thrown in jail for gross indecency. Also, Rime of the Ancient Mariner was crazy.
#7 Heidi Klum 73, #10 Cindy Crawford 68. I guess this is all about preferences, but I'm a Heidi Klum man. Heidi married Seal, Cindy married Richard Gere. I just don't know what to say about a woman who'd marry Richard Gere. Yeah he was Sexiest Man Alive or something, but he's still Richard Gere.
#9 Oscar the Grouch 67, #8 Big Bird 64. Big Bird is, well, a big stupid bird, while Oscar the Grouch is totally cool, because he lives in a garbage can and is sure to have a heart of gold down there somewhere. Also, Oscar was my favorite Sesame Street character growing up.
So, not many upsets there. Here's the second round matchups for the Miscellaneous Region:
#1 Martha Stewart v. #9 Oscar the Grouch.
#2 Bill O'Reilly v. #7 Heidi Klum.
#3 Frank Sinatra v. #6 Oscar Wilde.
#5 Will Ferrell v. #13 Christina Aguilera.
Check back tomorrow, when we'll begin to find out who is going to the Swell Sixteen!
entry no. 785
Posted by oz115 at March 20, 2007 10:43 AM