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June 06, 2007
Osgood's 11
I haven't done an Osgood's 11 in ages. I think it's time, what with "Ocean's 13" coming out on Friday. One of the great things about Ocean's 11 is that the characters wind up with oodles of money. Due to this, I think I will talk today about the 11 things I would put in my house if I had oodles of money like Danny Ocean.
11. Golden Tee machine. I love to play Golden Tee. It's great fun. But it sucks that you can only play it when you're out at a bar, and then you have to pay the machine, pay for drinks, and you have to have a friend around to play with you. But if I was rich, oh man, I'd throw down for a Golden Tee machine. What's more, you can get one that's a golf/"Silver Strike bowling" combo.
10. In-house beer dispensing system. Draft beer is really the best, and there are two advantages to such a thing: I get to drink tasty draft beer, plus I don't have to walk to the fridge to get a beer.
9. Massive bed. I saw this episode of MTV Cribs once, where they were in Shaq's house. The man had a circular bed that was about 15 feet in diameter. I'm nowhere near as big as Shaq, but a bed like that would be spectacular.
8. Bathroom with a phone in it. This is self-explanatory.
7. Dedicated library room. I know very well if I had tons of money, I'd spend it all on books. Lots and lots of books. I would need a room for all those books, and I want it to be its own room, with leather and mahagony and all that. Ditto for all my CD's and DVD's.
6. In-house digital music system. How flippin' sweet would it be to have my entire music library digitized, with the further bonus of being able to play a song at command and have it come through the ceiling? It'd be like being in the lobby of some hotel, but only cool, because I am picking the music.
5. Skating rink. I think it'd be a bit too fanciful to have an ice-skating rink, but a tile/plastic roller rink, set up with hockey nets and boards, would provide me lots of hours of entertainment. I see lots of rappers who set up basketball courts at their pads, but I don't roll that way. I'd have my roller rink, which could also double as an indoor soccer surface. After a night of hockey, would could go relax in my...
4. Swimming pool. Duh! Any rich guy worth his salt has a pool. Mine would be shaped like an O, for Oz.
3. Industrial strength satellite dish. I watch weird stuff on TV. I want to be able to pick up Japanese game shows on my TV, which, by the way, would have to be at least 70 inches. Why Japanese game shows? They're pretty f'ing funny.
2. Money vault. I'm talking Scrooge McDuck style. I've always wanted one of those. I want to go swimming in a pile of gold every morning... That would be tops. I don't know if I want to get that money smell on me, but it seems worth it.
1. Cleaning lady. Screw it. If I have millions of dollars, I must have done something right. I'm gonna treat myself. Somebody else can keep my house clean, because I'm not bothering anymore.
entry no. 871
Posted by oz115 at June 6, 2007 10:04 PM