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July 09, 2007
You're with me, leather
[Pic]
When I was ten years old, I thought Chris Berman was awesome. His Bermanisms were the greatest thing ever, especially when it was a player for one of the teams I liked. Werewolves of London Fletcher? Gold. There will always be a soft spot in my heart for the phrase "Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills," even if it's not true.
However, despite the popular notion that most guys act like they are ten years old well into their thirties, I do not usually find Chris Berman amusing anymore. Thus, with trepidation, I fear Chris Berman is again hosting tonight's home run derby at the MLB All-Star game.
Besides his overuse of the phrase "way back," Berman also has this awful tendency to describe a ball as landing "somewhere in [local suburb.]" So, when they had the derby at Comiskey Park a few years back, Berman would jokingly say "That one's landing in Skokie!"
Now, the game this year is in San Francisco. Here's my list of the odds that a particular town in the Bay Area is going to be referenced by Berman.
1-2: Oakland. It's gonna happen.
3-1: Berkeley. Berman is a hippie at heart.
5-1: San Jose. Odds that Berman will ask if the ball "knows the way to San Jose": 1-4.
8-1: Sausalito. Has to be a favorite, because it's just so damn fun to say.
9-1: Sacramento. Not really near San Francisco, but it's the capital.
11-1: Alameda. Famous for being the locale of the "nuclear wessels" in Star Trek IV.
15-1: Alcatraz. Not really a city, but even morons know Alcatraz is in the middle of the bay.
16-1: Golden Gate Bridge. Again, not a city, but this is like going to Chicago and not mentioning Al Capone, right?
22-1: San Quentin. I hear there's a prison there.
25-1: Palo Alto. Home of Stanford University, but obscure otherwise.
1,000-1: Los Angeles. Are these even in the same state? Berman will be crucified if he does that.
entry no. 906
Posted by oz115 at July 9, 2007 05:29 PM