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January 16, 2008
Dirty hippies
What can baseball Hall of Famer Rollie Fingers do that former President Abraham Lincoln cannot do?
The answer: be a New York City police officer:
The city's police have been told to get a little more uniform -- it's goodbye to goatees, chinstrap beards and designer hair affectations more suitable for, well, designers.
A Jan. 8 memo clarifies a regulation that says officers are not allowed goatees, chinstrap beards (think Abraham Lincoln) or other "designer beards."
New York officers are allowed to have mustaches -- including Chief Joe Esposito -- and undercover officers can pretty much do whatever they want when it comes to facial hair.
I know, I know. You're probably saying, but Abraham Lincoln has been dead for more than 140 years, he can't be a cop even if he shaved the beard. That's not really the point, is it? You're also probably saying, why would Rollie Fingers want to be a cop? He's a millionaire. Well look at that mustache, does it look like he does things the logical way?
Lincoln could be an undercover cop, of course. However I think most people would recognize him, even gangbangers. After all, his picture is all over our money. But then people would have to know he's a cop, though must people would probably wonder why is Lincoln buying heroin? Well why would he be a cop, too? Nobody knows.
entry no. 1060
Posted at January 16, 2008 02:32 PM