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March 31, 2008
Chicago Region, second round
You know, the Chicago Region is always one of the more interesting brackets in the ol' Faux March Madness. Let's see who from the Windy City is moving on to the Swell Sixteen...
#1 Michael Jordan 88, #9 Jay Mariotti 73. This one isn't even close. Mariotti against Jordan is like, well... Me against Jordan. And unless we're talking about presidential trivia, Jordan will whoop me. However, this doesn't stop Mariotti from trying his best: Mariotti would probably write a column criticizing Jesus for not getting more apostles before the trade deadline. It's old and tired; I am sure many Chicagoans still pine for the days of MJ.
#2 Ernest Hemingway 66, #7 Anton Cermak 61. Hemingway stays alive. His career-spanning works rival most 20th century authors, while Cermak perished before he could truly make his mark. If he hadn't been bumped off, he could've done something special. Maybe.
#3 Carl Sandburg 84, #6 Bobby Hull 79. This is a close one, but I think Sandburg is the winner here. The Golden Jet was a remarkable and fearsome hockey player, but was only to be eclipsed by, among others, his own son. Sandburg has few peers, if any.
#4 Chris Farley 75, #12 Liz Phair 63. Liz Phair's Cinderella bid ends in the second round, as she runs into the tubby brick wall that is Chris Farley. Farley's star burned brightly, but fizzled too soon. Liz Phair has been more steady, but nowhere near as luminescent.
So, in what is probably a first here at Squealer Central, all four of the top four seeds advance to the Swell Sixteen. Who will survive that round? Our matchups are as follows:
#1 Michael Jordan v. #4 Chris Farley
#2 Ernest Hemingway v. #3 Carl Sandburg
Stay tuned for more exciting Faux March Madness action!
entry no. 1114
Posted at March 31, 2008 04:46 PM