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March 28, 2008
Legendary Figures, second round
Whoa nelly, Faux March Madness is heating up! The Legendary Figures region is sure to be exciting, so let's see who the winners are in the second round. As usual, a coveted spot in the Swell Sixteen round is up for grabs.
#1 Babe Ruth 77, #9 Jim Thorpe 68. The Bambino rolls on. Thorpe, you would have to say, was probably a better overall athlete. Nevertheless, Babe is a man on a mission. Thorpe's accomplishments were relatively limited to the athletic field, but Babe Ruth was possibly one of the original triple threats: athlete, actor and spokesperson.
#2 Davy Crockett 70, #7 Amelia Earhart 66. Crockett keeps pace, avoiding an upset at the hands of Amelia. The sophisticated computers that figure out the results of this tournament love Amelia, but Crockett has that mysterious aura - mystique, if you will, that allows him to overcome Earhart's considerable strengths. He kilt him a bear when he was only three, ya know.
#4 Joan of Arc 79, #12 Blackbeard 71. Blackbeard had a good run, but Joan of Arc is not to be trifled with. Joan led armies, defeated the English, and otherwise made a hub-bub. Blackbeard, when you think about, was the most wanted pirate of the 18th century, but was a pretty isolated personage in the end.
#11 William Wallace 66, #14 Richard the Lion Heart 60. How 'bout that - Braveheart himself winds up in the Swell Sixteen, with a nice victory over Richard. Nobody knows much about the historical Wallace, but Richard had a fatal flaw, it appears. Check out how he died:
In the early evening of March 25, 1199, Richard was walking around the castle perimeter without his chainmail, investigating the progress of sappers on the castle walls. Arrows were occasionally shot from the castle walls, but these were given little attention. One defender in particular was of great amusement to the king — a man standing on the walls, crossbow in one hand, the other clutching a frying pan which he had been using all day as a shield to beat off missiles. He deliberately aimed an arrow at the king, which the king applauded. However, another arrow then struck him in the left shoulder near the neck. He tried to pull this out in the privacy of his tent but failed; a surgeon, called a 'butcher' by Hoveden, removed it, 'carelessly mangling' the King's arm in the process. However, the wound swiftly became gangrenous. Accordingly, Richard asked to have the crossbowman brought before him; called alternatively Peter Basile, John Sabroz, Dudo[16] and Bertran de Gurdun by chroniclers, the man turned out to be a boy. This boy claimed that Richard had killed the boy's father and two brothers, and that he had killed Richard in revenge. The boy expected to be executed; Richard, as a last act of mercy, forgave the boy his crime, saying, "Live on, and by my bounty behold the light of day," before ordering the boy to be freed and sent away with 100 shillings. Richard then set his affairs in order, bequeathing all his territory to his brother John and his jewels to his nephew Otto. ... His last act of chivalry proved pointless; In an orgy of medieval brutality, the infamous mercenary captain Mercadier had the crossbowman skinned alive and hanged as soon as Richard died.
So that sucks. Wallace didn't fare much better, getting drawn and quartered. But Richard died stupidly.
Our Swell Sixteen matchups, then, look like this:
#1 Babe Ruth v. #4 Joan of Arc
#2 Davy Crockett v. #11 William Wallace
Wow, an 11 seed in the Swell Sixteen! How far can Braveheart go? He has a tough road ahead, but anything is possible in March...
entry no. 1113
Posted at March 28, 2008 12:23 PM