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April 09, 2008
The Championship match
Okay people, it's come down to this. We started with 64 competitors, and now only two are left: Keith Richards and Theodore Roosevelt. One will be a champion, the other a footnote. Who will be which? Let's find out! For our last game, we'll actually examine, in depth, the criteria used to determine a winner.
Achievements: Roosevelt has quite the extensive resume: trust buster, President, Nobel Prize Winner, adventurer, athlete, naturalist. Keith Richards, on the other hand, is guitarist and occasional vocalist for one of the greatest rock n roll bands of all time. TR takes an early lead!
Longevity: Roosevelt died in his sleep at the age of 60, though he did survive an assassination attempt. Keith has made every effort to off himself, but he's going strong at age 64, though he looks more like he's 80. Keef ties it up!
Creative output: They say brevity is the soul of with. TR didn't always have that. When he was running for president as a member of the Bull Moose party, he went to deliver a speech. An assassin shot him in the chest, but he survived: the notes for his speech were so thick, it slowed the bullet enough to save his life. Meanwhile, Keith Richards specializes in 3 to 5 minute guitar mastery. If TR had written "Satisfaction," it'd be as long as Inna-gadavita. Keith Richards takes the lead!
Personal style: Roosevelt favored suits, safari gear and other gentlemanly gear. Richards makes do with psychedelic outfits and crazy bandannas. TR makes a comeback to tie it up!
Unbelievable - this is going into overtime! Will TR's last minute comeback give him the momentum?
Popularity: Roosevelt was governor of NY, then became President upon the assassination of William McKinley. He won reelection, and then tried for a third term as a member of the Bull Moose Party; he lost handily. Also, somebody tried to assassinate him. Keith Richards has been in a rock n roll band with worldwide fame for the past four decades, and shows no signs of slowing down. Keith Richards wins it in overtime!
So there you have it, readers. This year's champion is none other than Keith Richards! Congratulations to him, and let's not forget Theodore Roosevelt, who made quite the run.
He joins a list of distinguished champions:
2008 - Keith Richards
2007 - Chewbacca
2006 - Steve McQueen
2005 - Henry VIII
2004 - Ben Franklin
entry no. 1121
Posted at April 9, 2008 02:15 PM