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July 03, 2008
Christ almighty
you guys need some ranch dressing?, originally uploaded by Lit'l C.
I hate ranch dressing. I hate it with a passion I usually reserve for people who can't park, the New York Yankees, and Train.
It goes like this: my little brother, bless him, wasn't always the neatest eater. I suppose none of us were. However, he used to love ranch dressing. We'd go to the local Shoney's, which had a salad bar, and he would invariably make a salad which consisted of lettuce, other vegetables, diced ham, and ranch dressing. Then, he'd eat that salad, and get diced ham and ranch dressing all over his face. When he was done, there'd be a thin crust of ham and putrid ranch on his upper lip, and the smell was repulsive. I can still picture the scene, and that awful smell of ranch dressing. Ever since then, I couldn't go near the stuff.
Then four or five years ago, I dated this girl who also loved ranch dressing. She claimed she liked it so much, she carried a bottle of it in her purse. I never tried to verify this; nevertheless, a girl who liked ranch that much and I could never work out anyway.
As you might imagine, if this happened to my house, I'd sell the place and go live in the mountains. I'm pretty sure there are no ranches in the mountains. Either way, I'd ban ranch dressing from my home.
At least 10 residents in Clintonville are cleaning up after a combination of storm water and ranch salad dressing seeped into their basements.
According to the Ohio Environmental Protection Agency, rain from last week's storms combined with sewage from the T. Marzetti. Co. -- a salad dressing producer located on Indianola Avenue.
Sewage and storm water overwhelmed the city's storm sewer system, resulting in flooding at nearby homes.
"It's creamy-ranch- dressing-looking crap," resident Steven Maiken told the Columbus Dispatch. "It's not toxic waste, but we did have to throw away a lot of stuff. We tried to wash it off over and over again."
Maiken, who lives on Northridge Road, told the newspaper that he reported the problem to the Ohio EPA on Tuesday.
The Ohio EPA assessed the damage to basements and said residents should strip and bleach their basements, 10TV News reported.
According to the newspaper, the EPA suspects that pipes from nearby homes merge with pipes from the factory, but the pipes were not wide enough to handle excess water.
entry no. 1177
Posted at July 3, 2008 10:24 AM