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August 30, 2008

Out to sea

Vancouver has this beautiful downtown park, called Stanley Park. (This is the same guy as the Stanley Cup.) I went running there one morning, and out in the bay I saw a giant oceangoing container ship waiting a few miles off shore. We came back a few hours later, and the ship was still there.

I felt really bad for the sailors aboard that ship. They had just sailed across the Pacific, from some exotic port in Asia, and after days or weeks at sea, they are almost to land, drinks, and women. Hell, just to be off the ship must be a reward in itself. Yet here they were, within sight of a giant city, where they could see people walking along shore, having a wonderful time. But they were on the ship, waiting. After weeks at sea. I couldn't imagine how frustrating that must be.

Anyhow, that picture is not that ship. In a cruel twist of fate, my camera's battery ran out a few days ago, so I have barely any pictures of Victoria or the boat rides over and back. This container ship looks exactly like the one I saw that day. This one by passed our ferry in Puget Sound on our way back to Seattle, and in fact it sailed about half a mile in front of us before heading out to sea. That was a little too close for comfort, but as you can see, we didn't collide. No Andrea Doria here!

Posted at 02:26 AM | Comments (0)

Greetings from Seattle

Well hello there, just a quick note to all those out on the internet. It goes like this: I've spent the past eight hours on a boat, going from Victoria, BC to Seattle. Our ferry was 45 minutes late, and then it dropped us off 90 miles from Seattle in a town called Anacortes. To get to Victoria, we took a ferry from Vancouver - that whole trip took about two hours, and was only about 45 minutes north of where we landed at Anacortes. So, if we had taken the Vancouver ferry, I would be in bed right now instead of blogging at 3:30 in the morning, having just gotten to our hotel. (!!!)

Anyhow, enjoy this hello from a salmon at Pike Place Market. He doesn't look too happy, does he?

Posted at 02:25 AM | Comments (0)

August 24, 2008

I'm off

Well dear readers, it's a tough life I lead since taking the bar exam. After a relaxing trip to the East Coast, I am now off to the Left Coast, where I'll spend some time bonding with my parents and my little brother. The first stop: Seattle, home of the Space Needle, grunge, Starbucks and, er, the Elephant Super Car Wash.

I'll have my computer with me, so maybe, just maybe, you'll hear from me this week. If you could only be so lucky!

Posted at 10:57 PM | Comments (2)

August 22, 2008

Polly wants to be potty-trained

I was fooling around on my computer a little while ago, when I found this old picture I took on my cellphone. Maybe I posted this, maybe I didn't. But I feel bad for these people, who clearly lost a beloved pet parrot. I wonder if they ever found him?

I'm most interested in the part at the bottom: it says the parrot was wearing a diaper. A diaper? What kind of bird wears a diaper? I'm well aware that birds pretty much go where they please, but that is why they're kept in cages. Is it possible to potty train a bird? (Survey says... Yes!)

I would think, though, that a bird in a diaper would feel kind of emasculated. Pooping where they please is quite possibly the most distinctive feature of birds, be they pigeons, geese, urban or rural. Birds poop everywhere; it's their great joy in life. You may as well tell them they can't fly. The sad thing is, now that this parrot is out and about in the wild, he probably shed the diaper and is leaving a white trail of dung all over Chicagoland.

I hope they found him!

Posted at 03:41 PM | Comments (0)

August 21, 2008

A most pressing question

I was having a conversation today, and the issue turned to what happens when Jesus returns to redeem us all. No, we didn't talk about armageddon or the rapture, but more pedestrian issues: would Jesus be a Catholic, or Jewish?

Personally, I think Jesus would go to the synagogue. After all, Jesus was Jewish. Why would he suddenly join a different religion? I think it'd be kind of narcissistic of Jesus to join a religion that worships Himself. I mean, excessive pride is a deadly sin. It wasn't Jesus' idea to start a new religion centered around Himself. Jesus' whole thing was that he was the savior of the Jews, so why would He all of a sudden abandon Judaism? It doesn't wash, in my opinion.

Posted at 10:08 PM | Comments (0)

August 20, 2008

I'm a horrible person

Many years ago, when I first started this here Commentary, I worked in an office. At the desk next to mine was Eleanor, who was a delightful person, but sometimes off-kilter.

When I was there, her mother had recently passed away. To keep the memory of her mother alive, she had some plants and ferns that she kept in the office. She watered them every day, and referred to them as "Mother." I'd be sitting in my cube, probably avoiding work, when she'd announce that it was "time to water Mother."

Don't you know, those plants grew and grew, until they took up a large amount of space in the room.

On the other hand, I have learned that if I want to get some plants to memorialize a person, they are going to die. I've learned this the hard way. Somebody who does not wish to be mentioned on this site gave me a plant a few months ago, and I was determined to keep it alive. Things went well for a while - I set it up in my bathroom, next to the window, reasoning that I was in my bathroom everyday, and when I was in the shower, I would have no choice but to see the plant and remember to water it.

This strategy worked for the better part of six months, but I am sad to report that the plant may be on its last legs. Or is it last roots? It turns out that when I left last week, I left the plant positioned so that it wasn't getting any sunlight. Indeed, the portion that was in the sunlight is alive and well, but the non-lit portion seems to be crumbling.

I feel awful. At least if I ever have a baby, it screams when it's hungry.

Posted at 11:26 AM | Comments (0)

Here's an idea

So, as you know, I was off in merry old New England the past week or so, and I had occasion to walk around Boston. One of the things I noticed was how cars were fanatical about stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks.

I am certain everyone does not comply with the law, but as you can plainly see from the picture above, there are often signs in crosswalks that say you better stop for them. It was amazing: I'd be walking down the sidewalk, make a slight turn like I was going to cross the street, and every car - including, gasp, taxis - would slow down to let me go.

This should be of interest to Chicagoans like myself, because I read a few months ago about how the Chicago Police Department is cracking down on motorists who don't yield to pedestrians. I was not aware, but it is in fact a law in Chicago that drivers must yield to pedestrians in crosswalks.

Ever since I learned that fun fact, I have been foolishly playing games of chicken with cars on such abandoned thoroughfares as Division Street to see if they will actually yield to me. The answer, no. You will probably hear about me getting run over by a car one of these days.

I am not sure what Boston, and in fact, all of Massachusetts does to get drivers to yield to pedestrians, but I think the signs in the crosswalk help. If Chicago is serious about getting drivers to obey the law, they might benefit from putting up signs in crosswalks. They can't be that expensive. (However, I seriously doubt the city will continue to enforce the crosswalk law. It's the Chicago way: make a show of it for a few days, then forget about it.)

Posted at 09:30 AM | Comments (0)

August 17, 2008

That's gonna leave a mark

I am not sure if this clip has made the rounds of the Internet yet, but it is a fairly gruesome representation of what can happen when a Olympic weightlifter Janos Baranyai tries a lift beyond his means.

However, what could have been a garden-variety nasty sports injury got extra special meaning due to the always efficient Beijing Olympic organizers. Look what happens at 46 seconds, when the fallen Olympian is surrounded by trainers and then a portable wall to block the view of onlookers.

Beijing apparently has people whose sole job is to be on alert for massive injuries, and then set up mobile walls so that TV cameras don't catch what is going on. Is this typical weightlifting protocol, or simply another modern update by the Chinese?

The image that first popped into my head when I saw that was of horseracing, when the veterinarians euthanize a horse right on the track. I seem to recall they usually try to block the view of spectators when there is a critically injured horse on the track. According to the article, Mr. Baranyai didn't break any bones, but is probably out for the rest of the year. I can only assume this means they didn't euthanize him.

Posted at 09:03 PM | Comments (0)

Slow ride = cheap ride?

Greetings, loyal readers. I was off on a well-earned vacation this past week, which included stops in Boston, Martha's Vineyard, New Haven and New York City. But the first thing I need to talk about is what happened on the way home: I rode with real, true rock stars.

For reasons of cheapness, I was on a flight that left from the Hartford airport at 7 am. In the security line I noticed several older gentlemen who fit the exact stereotype of aging rock-n-rollers. There was a 60ish British man with brown-shaded sunglasses and a ponytail, and another man with blonde, highlighted hair, necklances, and a designer t-shirt which was punctuated with a slight beer belly. I said to myself, these guys just HAVE to be musicians, or at the very least, involved in the music industry.

I was delighted to see they were aboard my flight to Chicago, so I continued to study them. Clearly if they were musicians, they must not be A-listers - if so, why would they be flying Southwest? And why wouldn't hordes of women be mobbing them? I caught a break, though: they were talking to another guy, a road manager type, who was wearing a shirt that said "FOGHAT." Ignoring the lameness of wearing your own band's t-shirt, I filed it away in my mind to see where Foghat had been playing, or at least to see who was playing Hartford last night.

Wouldn't you know, when I pulled up the Wikipedia entry on Foghat, I was greeted with the picture you see above, who just happened to be the ponytailed Englishman and the pudgy blonde! Yes, I had been riding an airplane with Foghat, the artists behind the classic rock and Guitar Hero III staple, "Slow Ride." According to their itinerary, they had been playing something called the "Oyster Fest" in Connecticut, and were on their way to play the Iowa State Fair. Oh the life of the rock star!

Was I starstruck? Not really. Honestly, after I realized I was on an airplane with bona fide rockers, I was more concerned about being collateral damage to the Day The Classic Rock Died. It happened to Rick Nelson and John Denver, why couldn't it happen to Foghat? Thank God yours truly escaped before it did.

Posted at 02:28 PM | Comments (1)

August 07, 2008

Now that's what I call a fan

I was driving around town a few weeks ago when I saw the car you see above. I took a look at the driver, and it was not Mr. Obama himself, which left me with a few questions. Namely, how early did this guy recognize Barack Obama's potential? I mean, if someone wanted a MCCAIN license plate, is that available? However, I also suppose that when McCain was Obama's age, they didn't have license plates... Or cars. (McCain is old, get it? God I'm funny. Calm down, it was just a joke.)

Also, I wonder how many people have tried to steal that? How cool would it be to have the OBAMA license plate on your mantle? People have stolen stupider license plates, like anything that has a 69, DIK or POO in it. OBAMA is doomed - it's gonna be stolen, and soon.

Posted at 09:54 PM | Comments (1)

In jeopardy

The Jeopardy "Tournament of Champions" has been on this week, and it features some of the best Jeopardy players from the past year. However, there are a few particular contestants who do the most annoying thing in the whole world: I'm talking about when a category has all the clues left in it, picking the middle or bottom clue instead of starting at the top of the board. So, when you have $200, $400, $600, $800 and $1000 clues on the board, these people start with the $600 or $1000 clue, and not $200.

I don't know what irritates me so much about this, but it does. I mean, picking the bottom clue lets you get more value for your clues, especially when time is running out. You can take advantage of clues you know more about, and you are more likely to find the precious Daily Double in those middle clues.

Yet... It annoys me so much. It makes the board look ugly and disjointed. Furthermore, it also leaves those easy clues for the end, and by that time, you're so worked up for the hard clues you miss them because you are expecting some kind of trick answer.

I promise you this: should I ever find myself on Jeopardy, I will not pick the $1000 clue for starters, ever. I don't care how advantageous it is for me.

Posted at 03:06 PM | Comments (0)

August 05, 2008

D'oh

[Pic]

Now this is a kick in the pants. One of my favorite books, The Right Stuff, has been chosen as the latest selection for the "One Book, One Chicago" program. It is basically a citywide reading program, and as part of the festivities, the city is going to have a live screening of the movie version of The Right Stuff, which, not coincidentally, is one of my favorite movies. (The movie takes some dramatic license with the facts, but is overall quite truthful and an absolutely perfect complement to the book.)

Of course, the movie night is next week, when I'll be way out of town on some vacation. What a gyp!

Nevertheless, I might still bust out my tattered copy of The Right Stuff, or even check out some of the other activities associated with this. It turns out, every now and then, the City does do something right.

Posted at 07:52 PM | Comments (0)

August 01, 2008

Somebody's gonna get sued

Look at that package above. What could is possibly contain? Candy of some sort? Maybe vitamins? Some kind of fruit roll-up knockoff? Nope, it's a toxic air freshener. Some other people couldn't tell the difference, with amusing, but disastrous consequences:

Fruit Bombs fooled the owner of a Lovejoy Street convenience store, who stocked the brightly colored packages in the candy aisle.

One problem. Fruit Bombs are air fresheners.

Dee Hafi's daughters, Elizabeth and Hannah Crawford, 9 and 8, also thought the packages contained candy -- until they ate it and fell ill.

Elizabeth and Hannah, along with their friend Nina, 11, purchased three Fruit Bombs packets Wednesday and shared the powder and liquid contents of one. After about 15 minutes, Elizabeth and Hannah experienced stomach cramps, Elizabeth began vomiting and Nina experienced a burning sensation in her throat.

The brightly colored Fruit Bombs packets depict cartoon characters and floating fruit. Nowhere on the package are its contents clearly indicated as air freshener, although it does state "Eating Prohibited" on the bottom of the back of the pack, and the directions describe how to trigger a fruity-smelling burst.

Posted at 03:22 PM | Comments (0)