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October 26, 2008
McCain makes bulletin board material
John McCain, originally uploaded by rhilton4u.
I love a good sports analogy when talking about politics. The election is a big horse race. McCain needs a fourth-quarter rally. The Sarah Palin nomination was a "home run," or a fumble, depending on your point of view.
So it was with great interest that I saw a headline on Yahoo that blares, MCCAIN GUARANTEES ELECTION WIN.
It reminds me of what athletes like to call bulletin board material, which as far as I can tell means taking anything your opponent says, and using that as motivation to play even harder. The coach would put such quotes on the bulletin board, where apparently professional athletes would read them. (Heh heh.)
For example:
[Rashard Mendenhall], whose first career start will come against the Ravens on "Monday Night Football," recently sent a text message to friend and Ravens rookie tailback Ray Rice saying he's going to have a big game against the NFL's top-ranked defense.
Obviously, Rice, who often praises the Ravens' defense as "scary," passed the text message along to his teammates, who are not taking Mendenhall's proclamation lightly.
"He said later that he was just joking, but it's too late,'' Ravens linebacker Bart Scott said. "Thanks for the bulletin-board material, rookie."
Mendenhall, of course, got injured in something like the first quarter of that game. Whoops.
Anyhow, so back to the issue at hand. McCain "guaranteed" victory. Check out this juicy first paragraph:
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that he can “guarantee” a win on Nov. 4 in a squeaker victory that won’t be clear until late that night.
Oooh... Where's the money quote?? I can just imagine John McCain, like a modern-day Joe Namath, guaranteeing victory over the Baltimore Colts. Or maybe even Mark Messier, for you hockey fans, guaranteeing a win over New Jersey in the Wales Conference Finals.
“I guarantee you that two weeks from now, you will see this has been a very close race, and I believe that I'm going to win it,” McCain told interim "Meet" moderator Tom Brokaw. “We're going to do well in this campaign, my friend. We're going to win it, and it's going to be tight, and we're going to be up late.”
Whhaaaaaa? McCain didn't guarantee a win, he guaranteed that it was going to be close! He even said, "I believe I will win." That's not a guarantee, friends. He did say, "we're going to win," but again, this is not the same as a guarantee. Even Alan Keyes was saying he was going to win, even though he was down something like 80% to 20% against Obama in his Senate race a few years ago. I think politicians are contractually obligated to say that, like when the speakers always introduce him as "your next President!"
By no means am I saying Obama is going to beat McCain like he beat Alan Keyes, and I think it will be a close election. I feel better about this election than I did in 2004, speaking as a person who has never voted for the guy who was elected president. Nevertheless, I don't exactly consider McCain's comments a guarantee.
If McCain and Obama were opposing sports teams, I don't think that would be bulletin board material. What's McCain supposed to say - I'm going to roll over and die, you can have the White House, Obama? As if!
Yahoo, it seems, has employed a man who likes to misconstrue words, and consequently inspire lengthy blog postings. I can't guarantee who is going to win on Nov. 4, but I can guarantee this: you suck, headline writer!
entry no. 1233
Posted at October 26, 2008 08:28 PM