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February 27, 2009

Dyaamn

Boy did it sure rain yesterday! This is near the not-insignificant intersection of Wrightwood and Halsted, and as you can see, the entire street and sidewalk is flooded. Apparently there was flooding all over the city last night, and it was a mess. About a block from here, the whole street was flooded so that pedestrians were actually stranded, unless they walked through about a foot of water. I'll let you know if I come down with any diseases.

Posted at 04:45 PM | Comments (0)

Boo yeah

I knew there was a reason I liked Barack Obama. In walking around town, I noticed that Pepsi had developed a new campaign that looked suspiciously like Obama's campaign logo. Some reporters noticed this too, and set about finding out whether America's Coolest President (since Kennedy, at least) was a Coke or Pepsi guy. As a person who refuses to drink Pepsi, I was pleasantly surprised:

Several senior Administration officials are committed cola drinkers, and without fail they spend their days sipping from a can of Diet Coke, a product of Pepsi's chief competitor, Coca-Cola. On Monday, as members of Congress and key lobbyists filed into a briefing room for the final event of a daylong fiscal summit, they were greeted with an ice chest full of complimentary Diet Coke, not Diet Pepsi. (Montana Democratic Senator Max Baucus was one of many to grab a can.) Hours earlier, at a breakout session with members of Congress in the Indian Treaty Room, Office of Management and Budget Director Peter Orszag handled not one, but two cans of Diet Coke during the nearly two hour session. Larry Summers, Obama's top economic adviser, rarely walks anywhere in the White House complex without a can of Diet Coke in his hand. He is well known for interrupting conversations to take another swig.

But these examples do not even constitute the most damning evidence against Pepsi. Late last year, Obama's nascent Administration worked out of transition offices in a downtown government building, which was serviced by only Pepsi-brand vending machines, according to three people who worked in the building. Two Administration officials have told me that a group of Obama aides, frustrated by the security gauntlet required to go to the corner store, stocked a refrigerator with Diet Coke in open rebellion against the available options.

Nyah nyah nyah, Pepsi! Your beverage is too sweet and too carbonated and your commercials suck! And since Barack Obama seems to think so, it must be true!

Posted at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)

Boo yeah

I knew there was a reason I liked Barack Obama. In walking around town, I noticed that Pepsi had developed a new campaign that looked suspiciously like Obama's campaign logo. Some reporters noticed this too, and set about finding out whether America's Coolest President (since Kennedy, at least) was a Coke or Pepsi guy. As a person who refuses to drink Pepsi, I was pleasantly surprised:

Several senior Administration officials are committed cola drinkers, and without fail they spend their days sipping from a can of Diet Coke, a product of Pepsi's chief competitor, Coca-Cola. On Monday, as members of Congress and key lobbyists filed into a briefing room for the final event of a daylong fiscal summit, they were greeted with an ice chest full of complimentary Diet Coke, not Diet Pepsi. (Montana Democratic Senator Max Baucus was one of many to grab a can.) Hours earlier, at a breakout session with members of Congress in the Indian Treaty Room, Office of Management and Budget Director Peter Orszag handled not one, but two cans of Diet Coke during the nearly two hour session. Larry Summers, Obama's top economic adviser, rarely walks anywhere in the White House complex without a can of Diet Coke in his hand. He is well known for interrupting conversations to take another swig.

But these examples do not even constitute the most damning evidence against Pepsi. Late last year, Obama's nascent Administration worked out of transition offices in a downtown government building, which was serviced by only Pepsi-brand vending machines, according to three people who worked in the building. Two Administration officials have told me that a group of Obama aides, frustrated by the security gauntlet required to go to the corner store, stocked a refrigerator with Diet Coke in open rebellion against the available options.

Nyah nyah nyah, Pepsi! Your beverage is too sweet and too carbonated and your commercials suck! And since Barack Obama seems to think so, it must be true!

Posted at 04:41 PM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2009

Since my radio been gone

There I was, cruising along the Dan Ryan on my way home from work, when the sorta-alternative - but still safely in the mainstream - guitar tones of Kelly Clarkson's latest single began to pitter-patter through my speakers. Forty-five seconds later, as I was about to scream "My life! (My life!) Would suck! (Would suck!) Without youuuu!" the radio went dead.

Then, I was interrupted with the strangely mechanical beeps that could only mean one thing: this is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

The emergency alert system is a useful tool, I have no doubt. Yet, it has never been used in an actual emergency, including on 9/11, when the administrators decided it would be counterproductive to issue an alert because the whole thing was on TV already. So, I have no qualms about it being tested - buy why, oh why, must they do so during something? (Yes, even a Kelly Clarkson song.) It seems to me that every time I hear one of these tests, it interrupts something I am watching or listening to.

If there is a massive hurricane heading towards me, fine. Interrupt that episode of Cheaters. But a test? Can't it wait until after the part where the spurned ex-boyfriend throws a bouquet of flowers at the woman he thought would never hurt him?

Get on this, emergency alert people.

Posted at 11:25 PM | Comments (0)

February 24, 2009

Even more from Springfield

Here's part of Lincoln's Tomb. It's very impressive - if you ever find yourself in Springfield, definitely go see it. I think people tend to oversimplify Abraham Lincoln, but he was a fascinating, complex character.

A really interesting book I read was "Lincoln and Chief Justice Taney," which was about Lincoln and Roger Taney, who wrote the infamous Dred Scott decision.

Posted at 10:52 PM | Comments (0)

More from Springfield

Here's a statue of Abraham Lincoln in front of the Illinois Capitol. The first picture was of Stephen Douglas, Lincoln's old rival.

Posted at 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

My latest adventures

Yesterday I had to do a case down in Springfield, and it was as awful as I remember it. I have never seen a city that is the center of a large state government so abandoned.

Maybe the legislature is not in session, because I do not know where everybody is. When I went to the capitol, I did not see anyone else on the grounds. It was like in War of the Worlds (the old one), where all the people flee the aliens.

Things were no better when I visited Lincoln's tomb. One would think the sight would be bustling, but I encountered only one other person during my time there. It was, I think, nice to contemplate the place with nobody around. Nevertheless, I do have to wonder where all the people are.

As for the reason I was there, my client was so hopped up on pain medicine, she could barely stand. That was pretty neat.

Posted at 10:43 PM | Comments (1)

February 23, 2009

Weeee!

Here's one of the little known perks of being an attorney: courthouses have very nice bathrooms. Having thrown $100,000 on a legal education, we are not about to sit on toilet seats that have those weird paper covers on them. Oh no. We get the kind that are motorized, and change automatically. Do you think Stephen Breyer would put up with anything less?

Having now spent the past few years in courthouses, and the past month in courthouses all through the Midwest, I can safely claim that courthouses possess the nicest public bathrooms in the land. At least federal courthouses do. Do you know where those $800 toilet seats went? I found 'em!

Of course, you too can use these fabulous federal courthouse bathrooms. All you have to do is present a government-issued ID, step through a metal detector, and tell the US Marshals at the gate where you are going.

Make sure you buy a pop. They don't like it when all you do is come in to use the restroom. Also, bring something to read. It's not like we leave North Eastern Reporters lying around or anything.

Posted at 11:38 PM | Comments (0)

February 21, 2009

Top ten of 2008 - #1

Kathleen Edwards - Asking for Flowers.

Kathleen Edwards is always *this* close to making a completely successful album, and she finally does it with this effort. Her country-tinged songs describe social problems, family problems, and lots and lots of heartache. I felt palpably sad after listening to this for the first time, but also a lot of hope. She paints precise pictures (nice alliteration, boo yeah!) of young people running from the war in Iraq, running from responsibility, and being irresponsible. Her songs, however, are irresistible.

Posted at 01:04 AM | Comments (0)

Top 10 of 2008 - #2

Wow, I really did forget about this top ten list, didn't I?

Number 2 is She and Him, Volume 1. These are songs straight out of AM radio. Melodic, straightforward, instantly memorable and singable. Pure pop goodness.

As an added bonus, She and Him is a supergroup of sorts, featuring actress Zoe Deschanel and troubadour M. Ward. Zoe's songs show a skilled songwriter, regardless of her fame as an actor. Unlike, say, other actresses who put out records this year.

Posted at 12:57 AM | Comments (0)

Classy garbage cans

I'll admit. When I first came to downtown Louisville, I was less than impressed. The courthouse, a grand Depression-era building, was located across the street from a sex toy shop and what may have been a strip club. These mingled with abandoned buildings, check-cashing stores, and pawn shops.

Other areas of the downtown were sparsely crowded, but wandering around eventually brought me to the "entertainment area" on Fourth Street, where I enjoyed lunch at an Irish pub next to a rambunctious group of... Wait for it... Accountants. Once I found signs of life in Louisville, I felt much better.

All throughout downtown, there were those trash cans you see pictured above. There's something interesting to me about these cans - why, for example, did the city see fit to spend thousands of dollars on these cans? What purpose do they serve? You certainly won't forget where you are in Louisville, I can guarantee that.

Posted at 12:50 AM | Comments (0)

February 20, 2009

More from Louisville

Here's a picture I took of the Louisville skyline last evening. This was across the Ohio River, in Jeffersonville, Indiana. The only other time I was ever in Louisville was for the Kentucky Derby a few years ago, and when I stopped at the park where I took this picture, I realized it was the exact same place I stopped the first time.

I also didn't realize this, but the Louisville area is home to one of the largest clocks in the world. I learned this because my client used to work at the factory where this clock was located, until Colgate closed the factory and shipped her job to Mexico. Also, the clock was in Indiana, but only visible to the people across the river in Kentucky. Nice job on both those things, Colgate.

I took that picture a little around 6 pm, and shortly thereafter a disturbing incident happened. A man "ambushed" two police officers who were trying to arrest him, leaving both in critical condition. After a manhunt, the suspect killed himself. Lovely.

Posted at 11:40 PM | Comments (0)

February 19, 2009

Can't get a line

Well friends, tonight I am in the Louisville airport, waiting for my flight back to Chicago. Today I did my first-ever hearing all by myself, and I think I did allright. Going in, I didn't think my client would win, but based on what happened I think we might!

Anyway, as I rolled into Midway at 6:30 this morning, I was in a great hurry. I grabbed my bags, went into the airport, and through the security gate. About this time, I realized I didn't have my phone. They may as well have amputated one of my hands, because although I really have nobody important to call, you never know. I decided not to go back to get it, and go sans-phone for a day.

After tooling around Louisville for a bit and preparing for the hearing, I decided it might be a good idea to call my phone so that I could check my messages. I set about looking for a payphone, and would you believe, there are no payphones anywhere in downtown Louisville?

Finally I strolled into a tony luxury hotel called The Brown. In a little corner, I found a phone - after only about searching for six blocks. I checked my messages, called the office to check in, and went to my hearing.

Later, I wanted to do the same thing again. I walked into another hotel, and asked if there was a payphone. This time, the manager had no idea where there was a phone, and he actually let me use his cell phone to check my messages.

I can't believe how hard it is to find a payphone. I'm not that old, but I'm old enough to remember when there weren't cell phones. You could find a payphone on every block, and I placed my fair share of collect calls. I once heard there was a phone in the middle of the Mojave Desert - Now, you're lucky to find one in the middle of a giant city.

The times, they are a-changin!

Posted at 08:01 PM | Comments (1)

February 18, 2009

More travails

After my adventure to Peoria, today I went in the opposite direction. Here's a hint: this city's downtown lies in a narrow isthmus between two lakes. Yep, I was in "Mad Town" itself. Home of the Badgers, and capital of Wisconsin: Madison.

It was a rather frustrating day, in that after rising again at 5 am, I was stuck in traffic for an eternity. About 8:45, I knew I could drive no longer, and pulled into the tollway oasis in Belividere. (Now sans-Blagojevich signs, I might add.) After a quick 20-minute power nap, which did wonders, I had to drive 90 mph the rest of the way to get to Madison on time.

When I got there, I learned that the judge had offered to settle the matter, and that I could go home. So, I drove 350 miles for ten minutes of shenanigans. But it's allright though, because the client got some closure.

This is the Wisconsin Capitol building. It is truly an impressive sight, and is an imposing building. Madison itself is a very well-kept, friendly and progressive city. I noticed scads of bike trails which ran along the lakes that I would love to run on if I am ever there when it is warm. If it wasn't for the fact that a 30 mph wind was blowing snow everywhere, I would have stayed longer.

Tomorrow, it's off to another city. This time, I get to fly. Even more daunting, it will just be me at the hearing. Talk about throwing me right in!

Posted at 11:19 PM | Comments (0)

The coolest thing I saw in Peoria

After I got done with the work stuff in Peoria, I took the long way back to the interstate. This giant sign for the public schools stadium looks right out of the 50's. I must have looked like a fool snapping pictures of it, but it is truly unique. To get an idea of the size, check out this longer view of it. [Amazingly, there seem to be no other pictures of this thing on Flickr.]

Posted at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)

Where am I?

So yesterday, guess where I went? Here's some hints: it's the largest city on the Illinois River, and it's nicknamed the Whiskey City. That's right, I went to Peoria. This was about as exciting as it sounds, although Peoria does have some interesting people and businesses.

Here's how exciting Peoria is: notoriously even-keeled Buffalo Bills head coach Dick Jauron hails from Peoria. His high school nickname was "Mr. Unpredictable," and he won the "Life of the Party" award at high school graduation.

I wouldn't have minded going so much, except I had to get up at 5 am in order to be to Peoria by 9 am. There is no worse feeling than leaving the house so early, that it is still dark.

I find it hard to believe I would do that for school every day in the winter. During the dark days of January, it would be so dark as I waited for the school bus, sometimes she would zip on by without even seeing me. That was frustrating. At least now I can control my own destiny, but it doesn't erase the fact that I have to leave before the sunrises.

However, I did see a beautiful sunrise over a chemical plant somewhere between Joliet and Kankakee.

Yes, I truly played in Peoria.

Posted at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)

February 16, 2009

A true Chicago treasure

As far as weathermen go, Tom Skilling is pretty great. He's been the man in front of the green screen on WGN for ages, and also edits the weather page on the Tribune. However, if he ever decides to quit the forecasting biz, he should be come a politician. (He could learn a few things from his brother.)

See, on the weather page, there's a daily feature called "Ask Tom Why," where readers can query Skilling with various weather questions. There's three basic varieties: questions from an inquisitive student in Mrs. So-and-so's K through 6 class; questions about a blizzard/tornado/torrential downpour my grandma/dad/uncle told me about during the Depression/The War/The 70's; and an obscure question.

Skilling handles the first two with aplomb. The last, however, always leave me with a furrowed brow. Consider the question posed in today's Tribune:

Ducks are often seen in freshwater lakes when Chicago's temperatures are below zero. The 32-degree water must seem warm to them. When it is 40 below in polar climates, how "warm" would the seawater be to the penguins?

Shawn Groom, Palatine

That's a great question, Shawn from Palatine! After reading this, I was all ready for a great dissertation on penguins and how they adapt to the cold, or whatever it is they do. Instead, Skilling gave us a perfect non-answer:

Pure water freezes at 32 degrees. Water molecules, which tumble about loosely when in the liquid state, become ordered in a crystalline lattice during the freezing process. (By the way, the lattice structure encloses a bit of space; that's why water "expands" when it freezes into ice.) However, foreign particles in water (such as sodium and chlorine ions from dissolved salt) hinder the formation of the crystalline structures because they interfere with intermolecular forces among the water molecules. The result is that the freezing temperature of saltwater drops, sometimes into the middle 20s.

Whiskey tango foxtrot, Skilling? What are you trying to say? The best I could gather from this answer is that the saltwater doesn't get much below the mid-20's, which is great, but does nothing to explain how penguins or ducks deal with the cold water.

I mean, us humans would most likely expire after a half hour in 25 degree water. How, Skilling, do penguins do it? He does this all the time, answering a question without really providing the basis for the answer. See here. Would it kill you, Tom, to just dispense with the folksy advice and give an insightful answer?

Posted at 10:49 PM | Comments (0)

The queen is dead

I'm obsessed with trimming my fingernails. I hate when they're long, I hate hangnails, I hate getting stuff under them. So it's pretty repulsive to me that someone would not trim her fingernails for thirty years. Yet, Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City has done just that, and gotten herself a place in the Guinness Book of World Records in the meantime.

Unfortunately, her record will get no bigger, because she broke her flowing nails in a car accident:

Lee Redmond sustained serious but non-life threatening injuries in the Tuesday accident.

Redmond was the current Guinness record holder, with nails that hadn't been cut since 1979. Her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches, according to the Guinness Web site.

Salt Lake County Sheriff's Lt. Don Hutson says she was ejected from an SUV in the crash and taken to the hospital in serious condition, the Deseret News reported Thursday on its Web site.

Redmond has been featured on TV in episodes of "Guinness Book of World Records" and "Ripley's Believe It or Not."

Ejected from the SUV, eh? Do you think it could be she didn't buckle her seat belt cause she had fingernails that were three feet long?!!??

Posted at 07:22 PM | Comments (0)

February 15, 2009

About time

How great is Pete Seeger? The answer, of course, is that no words can describe how great he is. Ol' Pete was quite the rabble rouser in his younger days, and still is.

Way back in 1960, Seeger was booked to play at a high school in San Diego. However, because of his communist leanings, the school board wanted him to pledge that he wouldn't use the show as a political platform. He refused, the school board tried to cancel. The ACLU found out; wham, bam, lawsuit, Pete plays the show without incident.

It took 49 years, but the school board has apologized:

School board member Katherine Nakamura said she was inspired to write the apology resolution after seeing Seeger perform on the HBO special “We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial” the weekend before President Barack Obama’s Jan. 6 inauguration.

Seeger joined Bruce Springsteen in singing Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Your Land.”

“It just seemed to me to be the right thing to do, and I had an opportunity to do it,” Nakamura said. “He's 89 years old, we're lucky he's still with us. You don't always get a chance to reflect on these things and the way they might have been or should have been.”

Seeger said the board's resolution is a “measure of justice that our right to freedom of expression has been vindicated.”

Good job, San Diego school district!

Posted at 01:28 AM | Comments (0)

February 14, 2009

Ah, Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! If you're not with the one you're love, love the one you're with. As for me, the one I was with tonight was a plate of General Tso's chicken, some movies and a whole lot of cleaning and doing laundry. I never thought I'd enjoy voluntarily staying home on a Saturday night, but this hit the spot.

As you can see, I got a fortune cookie. I won't say it was eerie, but I *will* be traveling to many exotic places. This week I'm going to Peoria and Madison, Wis. to observe... Then, on Thursday, I'm off to Louisville, Kentucky to do one on my own. I'm pretty sure that at this point, I'm stuck, so I better study and do as well as I can.

Posted at 11:59 PM | Comments (0)

February 13, 2009

I've gone corporate

In one of the "perks" of my new job, I get a corporate credit card, which I use to purchase flights and rent cars. As I mentioned, my first stop involves a 7 am flight to Louisville, and a return at 8 pm. Lovely.

So, the credit card is an American Express. I called to activate it today, and after a series of security verifications, the automated voice on the other end said I had to set a 4-digit password for my account. I said, cool. Then it said, "Many of our customers use their mother's birthday. Enter your mother's birthday now."

Aside from the fact that I have never used my mom's birthday for a password, this is highly irregular. Who cares what the password is? Is this some kind of insidious AmEx scheme to remind customers of when their mom's birthday is, and then refer them to a florist? I can't think of any other reason for it. I didn't see what happened if I put in a non-date (like 9999), but I could just imagine that it would get rejected. This means that out of a possible 10,000 or so passwords, only 365 are usable. Real good, AmEx. Real good.

And what about people who don't know their mothers? What do they do? Is this American Express's way of suggesting people who grow up motherless will never be successful enough to get an American Express card?

It boggles my mind.

Also, if you know my mom's birthday, you are now my number 1 suspect if my identity gets stolen. You know who you are.

Posted at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)

This sucks

What can you say? Nothing.

Posted at 11:06 AM | Comments (0)

February 12, 2009

They really mean it

The Post Office has that interesting motto, of never been stopped by rain, sleet, or snow, or whatever else it is. (Apparently this doesn't apply to my mailman, because I haven't gotten any mail since Monday. And it's not even snowing!)

Not only does the Post Office want the postal carriers to soldier on through hideous weather, they want them to do so in the shortest amount of time possible. The Post Office would rather have the mailman jump over a giant snow bank than lose a few seconds by walking down to a freshly-shoveled sidewalk. In a bureaucratic move that smacks of sheer lunacy, one Buffalo postal carrier found out the hard way that the Post Office means business:

The carrier, whom the union did not name, was issued a “warning letter” Tuesday, telling him he could be suspended from duty if he continues using sidewalks rather than walking across lawns.

Many local carriers have had disputes this winter with supervisors who insist they walk across lawns, even on days when snowdrifts are deep, according to officials of the National Association of Letter Carriers.

“This has been a growing issue all this winter, but this is the first time one of our carriers has been disciplined in writing for it,” said Robert J. McLennan, president of the Buffalo branch of the union.

“This carrier is threatened with suspension because he used the sidewalks instead of walking across lawns that had big snowbanks on them.”

Has it ever occurred to the Post Office that it might be faster to walk on a sidewalk, even if it's a longer distance, than it would be to trudge through a snowbank?

Posted at 05:03 PM | Comments (0)

Celebration

Hello dear readers. Sorry again about being away. But this time, I have good reason: I got a job! An actual lawyer job, where they pay me money and I can boss people around and I get my own office and shit. It's in the most interesting field of social security disability, so I'm going to be arguing that my clients should get disability benefits. It's pretty nifty so far.

The best part is, because social security is a federal program, I have clients all over the country. I will actually go to different cities to argue cases. Next week I'm going to Peoria and Louisville, Kentucky. Is this exciting? Yes. Is it scary? You betcha. But at least I think I can do this.

Meanwhile, this here commentary will keep on going. Part of the problem with updating it is that being an unemployed, lazy bastard, I had no real schedule. And with no schedule comes forgetting to write in the blog. So, I think you'll be seeing more of me. I hope!

Also, here is what my mom looked like when she found out I got a job, except that she isn't a man nor in a motorcycle gang. But you get the picture.

Posted at 12:26 AM | Comments (1)

February 04, 2009

Da Mare is at it again

[Pic]

Mayor Daley is PO'ed. One of the bigger stories round these parts concerns a 14 year old who got himself arrested. He pulled off a doozy of a crime: he walked into a police station on the South Side, wearing a police uniform, and told some officers he was sent there from another district. They put him to work, and the shenanigans weren't discovered for hours. (Official version here, insider version here.)

Mayor Daley wants answers, and he wants them soon. Like before Halloween. Apparently he called in the Secret Service to figure out how such a gross lapse in security occurred. He defended this by proposing an interesting hypothesis:

"What bothers me is I’d hate to see it at Halloween if everybody walks in – a 12- or 14-year-old walks into a police station on Halloween, they'll be handed a desk. They'll give them a car. They'll give them a badge … That's a real concern that we have."

The teen went on a police uniform shopping spree, then walked into the Grand Crossing District and conned his way into a traffic cop's car, spending the next five hours on duty, even driving a squad car, sources told the Tribune.

So all I have to do is walk into a police station and they'll give me a badge? (Or, as CPD calls it, a star.) Surely no regular ol' beat cop is going to recognize a kid in disguise on Halloween. I mean, hasn't he seen The Untouchables? I don't think Jim Malone would get fooled this way.

Posted at 01:19 AM | Comments (0)

Ruining it for all of us

Those crazy gays. They have no respect for the sanctity of marriage. I mean, look at this: They're DIVORCING! Who do they think they are? 50 percent of heterosexual couples, apparently.

A lesbian couple who led the fight for gay marriage in Massachusetts has filed for divorce.

Julie and Hillary Goodridge were among seven gay couples who filed a lawsuit that led to a court ruling making Massachusetts the first state to legalize same-sex marriages in 2004. The couple became the public face of the debate in the state and married the first day same-sex marriages became legal.

For shame!

Posted at 01:09 AM | Comments (0)

February 03, 2009

When the urge strikes

Sometimes, at 4 in the morning, you feel an urge. Some people need an early morning snack. Others need a bathroom break. A few people? Sex toys.

Inspiration can strike at odd times. Anthony Mikrut got the idea for his business about 3 o'clock one morning, when he and a girlfriend were in search of some ... uh ... products to enhance their ... er ... special evening.

"We figured you can get pizza any time of night," he said. "Why can't you get [sex] toys?"

Thus was born The Kinky Llama, a purveyor of adult goods that promises one-hour delivery—by bicycle, no less — to most places in Chicago. Mikrut, 33, said the company has been around for 21/2 years and that, despite the recession, he's busier than ever.

"I think people like to have a little fun when they're not having the best time in the market," he said.

His West Town home office holds about 1,500 items, from videos to marital aids to specially designed furniture, and he tosses his wares into a bag or bike trailer when it's time for a delivery. So far, he said, all of his rush orders have come at night or in the early morning — and almost all have come from women.

D'oh! Why didn't I think of this? Everyone knows that porn usually is an early adopter of new technology. It's about time it moved to late-night delivery. Back to the ol' drawing board for me.

Posted at 11:54 PM | Comments (0)