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March 31, 2009
My dating manifesto
group date on the moon, originally uploaded by ~BostonBill~.
I don't much like to talk about my personal life on here, in that most of you are not interested in it. Sure, I talk about things that happen to me, but rarely is this the type of confessional web site in which I talk about what it was like when my boss yelled at me, and oh what a bitch she is, and I hope she gets breast cancer. Note, this is not me, as my boss is a guy. Although I suppose a man can get breast cancer. I like him however, and don't want him to get breast cancer, or any cancer. Or any illness, for that matter. Unless it's mental illness that causes him to pay me seven figures a year.
Anyway, I had this lady I was seeing. (Hi S!) Then that ended, so now I am back trying to meet women, and take them on dates. Here's the problem. Now that we are living in this online world, with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, blogs, LinkedIn, and all that other "networking" bullshit, the ability to connect with people is about eight billions time greater than it used to be. Now, most people, you want to connect with them. They're classmates, old friends, or other people of that ilk.
But you know whom I don't want to connect with? That girl I just went on a date with. It's almost a cliche now to Google your date. I'll admit to doing this. But that's where it ends. I don't want to be your Myspace friend. I'm not interested in reading your "Twenty things" meme on Facebook. And, whatever you think, no, I don't want to join your network on LinkedIn. Occasionally, a girl I've been seeing will add me on Myspace or Facebook, and I will reluctantly accept. But now, I think I am going to ignore all such requests.
Here's why. When I meet somebody, I don't want that person all up in my business. I don't want her seeing my pictures of that vacation I took with so-and-so, or my list of favorite movies, or all the raunchy comments my friends and I leave each other. I want that person to know what I tell her, and nothing else. When I'm ready to tell her something, then she'll know. Maybe this seems a bit combative, but I don't care. My personal life is personal, and I don't think it's appropriate to give a relative stranger unfettered access to it.
With the internet, more of my life story than I care to reveal is splayed right out there. And that's cool, usually, because the only people who can see it are my friends, to whom I have given access to said information. They can see pictures of me with, for example, a garbage can stuck on my head because they're my friends. I don't care about first impressions, because I've already made them.
But dates? Potential employers? They don't need to see that, and I don't want them to see that. That's why I keep all my "networking" sites private, and why I don't talk much about my personal life on here. It's just not worth it to me, for somebody to see something and then ask me about it later, as if it personally affected her.
Perhaps I'm wrong, but privacy seems to be how it worked in the olden days. Hell, that's how it worked ten years ago. Now, I refuse to submit to the tide of the internet. I'm keeping it that way. As Shrek would say, I'm like an onion. I have layers, people, and layers shouldn't be exposed all at once.
Now, maybe you're reading this article, because you met me and are now googling me. If so, welcome to my website. I hope you enjoy it. But if you want to be my Facebook friend, I'll probably ignore you. Sorry. I just met you, and if you want to find out more about me, you're more than welcome to ask. In person.
entry no. 1341
Posted at March 31, 2009 10:05 PM