May 26, 2011
Gator time
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I'll tell you what. I love a good alligator story. Now, to catch you up briefly on my life, I have a fiancee now. It's true - some poor girl actually thinks it's a good idea to marry me. She used to live in Florida, but now she is ensconced with me in Chicago, where she absolutely loves it when it is 45 degrees on Memorial Day. But I digress.
Since I was often going to Florida to visit her, I'd have my share of alligator sightings. But this, friends, is one ridiculous alligator encounter, courtesy of a ten year old Florida boy:
Michael Dasher said he was fishing with his friends from the side of the canal, near Green Road and Fiske Boulevard, when something caught the hook....
The boys said Michael hooked a 6-foot alligator.
Michael said the alligator ran at him, so he started hitting it with sticks. He said at one point he jumped on the back of the beast.
Michael was somehow able to capture the animal, which wildlife officials measured at 5 feet 9 inches long, and drag it home without getting seriously injured. He did have a few minor scratches on his hands and arms.
Jesus! Can you imagine hooking an alligator, and instead of running away like the sissy you are, beating it and dragging it home? When you're TEN YEARS OLD? I'm 31, and I'd still crap my pants if an alligator got within 10 feet of me.
So, this kid is braver than me. Not news, of course. However, apparently in Florida it is illegal to mess with gators:
His grandfather, Benjie Cox, said when he saw the alligator in the front yard he called the Brevard County Sheriff's Office and wildlife officials.Cox said after he gave Michael a stern talk about what he had done, the officers gave him one, too. He said they told him that if he was older, he would have been arrested and charged with a felony.
Cox said the alligator seemed like it was in bad shape, but wildlife officers said they were planning to release it back into the St. John's River.
Stupid narcs, ruining all the fun.
Posted at 11:20 AM | Comments (0)
May 20, 2011
I'm returning just as the world is ending
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Hello friends. As you can see, this website has been inactive for the entirety of 2011. It wasn't intentional, necessarily, but things work out that way.
And then, a few weeks ago, I decided I wanted to pick up and start doing this again. Wouldn't you know, as soon as I do, Flickr disabled the function I use to post pictures on here? How much crap is that? A lot, is the answer.
Anyway, I'm going to try and keep this up, again. No promises. Especially because, in case you haven't heard, the world is ending tomorrow. Technically, it's not ending, but the Rapture is supposedly occurring, meaning all the true believers in a very specific type of Christianity will depart from Earth, and non-believers (presumably like myself) will be stuck here to endure unimaginable horrors.
One group who will definitely not be ascending to Heaven is our pets. As much as we love them and cherish them, apparently they don't have souls, meaning they are f'ed during the Rapture. They aren't going anywhere. Fortunately, a group of dedicated atheists who are certain they will not be raptured will take care of your pets for you, after you've ascended, for a modest fee:
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.
Now, according to the website, this is a 100% serious business. The caretakers are confirmed atheists who have no chance of being raptured, and so will take care of your pet for you. Sounds reasonable.
When I originally saw it, I kind of chuckled. But when I thought about it some more, I began to wonder about the ethics of it. As atheists, they think this Rapture stuff is a whole bunch of nonsense. When one looks at the calculations used to decide that May 21st (tomorrow) will indeed be the Rapture, one must scratch his head. These are interesting predictions to say the least. So, is it moral to take the money of someone for something you believe will absolutely not occur? Will you take the money of somebody even though you think they're loony? I would feel weird taking the money of somebody who wanted me to protect him from a dinosaur invasion, or something, because I know it's not happening. Sure, a fool and his money are soon parted, but the person taking the fool's money shouldn't be proud at fleecing someone, either.
Maybe the Rapture *will* occur tomorrow, or the next day. I don't know. When it does, I'll be sure to look out for pets who need to be rescued.
Posted at 11:37 AM | Comments (0)
