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April 01, 2004
....And the winner is...
Well the moment has arrived... Who will win the Faux March Madness Tournament? Ben Franklin, or Marv Levy? All the bets are made, and this is the moment of truth. Scroll down to find out what happened, if you can believe it...
The game started off evenly. Marv Levy used his stable of motivational techniques, spinning stories from history and literature to bedazzle Ben Franklin. Franklin stumbles when Levy once again points out that Franklin thought the national bird should be the turkey. Levy continues to battle, scoring more points because he managed to restore Buffalo football to respectability. The Harvard-educated Levy looks like he is on the verge of a romp, punishing Ben for his reliance on foul-mouthed humor and lecherous behavior. Marv also pummels Franklin on the health issue: while Levy keeps himself healthy, Franklin flies kites in lightning storms and drinks lots and lots of beer.
Yet, Franklin comes back in the second half. Marv went to Harvard, you say? Well, Franklin founded his own Ivy League School, the University of Pennsylvania. And there was that whole issue of getting the French to support the colonies in the Americans in the revolution. While making the Bills a good football team was truly monumental, Franklin's work was important, too. And, despite Franklin's hard-partying ways, he lived to be 84, a remarkable age when the average person was lucky to make it to 60. He may have endangered himself, but Franklin contributed mightily to the scientific community with his electricity experiments.
The verdict? Ben Franklin narrowly defeats Marv Levy, 74 to 70. I am sorry to say, despire Marv's great credentials and winning personality, he just doesn't have enough to beat Ben Franklin. Is it Marv's place in life to finish second in difficult and arduous sporting competitions? Perhaps - but, there is always next year. Marv put up a great fight, and being second the Ben Franklin is not a feat to sniff at.
Oh yeah, and don't forget the consolation game. KU Food Court was overmatched against Sean Connery. No amount of chicken fingers can topple Connery's impressive accent, beard, and body of work. The score: Sean Connery 88, KU Food Court 79.
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Posted by oz115 at April 1, 2004 09:30 AM