September 04, 2008
Hot diggity
I only caught part of Sarah Palin's speech at the Republican National Convention last night, but in browsing the internet, I found quite the interesting nugget. Apparently she mentioned dear old Lancaster in her speech, while talking about John McCain and his time as a prisoner of war:
In describing how Sen. John McCain would bring compassion to the White House, Palin told the story of "fellow prisoner of war, a man named Tom Moe, of Lancaster, Ohio."
At the mention of Moe's name, the 88 members of the Ohio delegation, seated front and center on the convention floor, rose to their feet and cheered wildly. Moe, 64, is a first-time convention delegate.
Palin described how Moe recalled "looking through a pinhole in his cell door as Lieutenant Commander John McCain was led down the hallway by the guards."
"As the story is told," Palin continued, "when McCain shuffled back from torturous interrogations, he would turn toward Moe's door and flash a grin and thumbs up - as if to say, 'We're going to pull through this.' "
This is really surprising to me, because it's the first time I ever heard that a fellow POW with McCain was living in Lancaster. I figured that the newspaper would have been all over that years ago. There isn't much else to talk about there, is all I'm saying.
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September 03, 2008
Dare to be different
I try to do some form of exercise almost every day of the week. I love to go running, and other days I go to the gym. Failing that, I'll try to ride my bike somewhere. If anything, it allows me to look down haughtily upon the un-fit masses.
Yesterday, I was riding the elevator at the gym when another guy stepped into the elevator, and he was blasting Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" on his iPod.
This highlighted quite a conundrum for me: I love to rock out to, shall we say, songs you might not expect a normal 28-year-old guy to listen to. I'm talking stuff like I Will Survive, It's Raining Men, and a good deal of the Rihanna, Britney Spears and Shakira catalogs. These aren't bad songs, per se, but I feel slightly embarrassed when I'm running down the street and everyone can hear me listening to Since U Been Gone.
However, the other part of me says this: don't be embarrassed. Be proud of your love for teen pop, female empowerment, and satires about dolls. And I tend to agree - it might look weird that The Go-Gos help me run fast, but I don't care. I like Kelly Clarkson. And judging by her album sales, lots of other people do too. Having Avril Lavigne on my playlist might call my sexuality into question, but am I ashamed? No!
So to my fellow humans, who change the station when Abba comes on, and who lower the volume when others can hear you enjoying a Nelly Furtado track, I say embrace it! Let the cheese blare!
Conversely, there are also songs that are so cliche, they might also lead to embarrassment: Eye of the Tiger. Don't Stop Believing. Living on a Prayer. I call these "training montage" songs, and they are embarrassing because they are exactly what you're supposed to be listening to when working out. These also do not deserve to be shunned: they are merely victims of their own popularity. Clearly the goal here is that if Eye of the Tiger is too cliche, you need to find a substitute that sounds very much like it, and produces similar motivating results.
Why not, then, just use the original? I have over 300 songs on my running playlist - some of them are bound to be ones people have heard before. Don't want me emulating Rocky Balboa? Tough luck - now get off the sidewalk, fatty.
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September 01, 2008
Beat me to it
By now I'm sure everyone knows that John McCain picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate - no breaking news on THIS web site, friends. Like many of you, this was surely an odd choice. Either it will be disastrous, or a gamble that pays off. But, being the superficial guy that I am, who plans to vote for Barack Obama unless it turns out he's actually one of the aliens from V, I have to focus on some of the other "assets" that Palin brings to the table. She has an interesting life history. Apparently she likes the outdoors. There's her typically Republican stance on sex education, complete with oopsy-daisy ironic twist. But let's face it, she's not too bad to look at either. Compared to John McCain, she's positively radiant.
A story on Craigslist described her appeal to young men in more graphic terms:
We were in line at Caribu Coffee on Halsted when, apropos of nothing, you asked me what I thought of McCain's VP selection Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska. After I said I thought she was a horrifying choice in almost every way, you told me she "gave [you] massive boners."
At this point in our "conversation," I said "Ew" and left the coffee shop...without even getting my coffee! I was offended. That kind of language is inappropriate and no one wants to know that kind of personal information about a stranger.
But then, I thought about what you said. More, I thought about the way you said it. It was like you were spooked a little bit. Scared, but also fascinated at this. And then I began to wonder if you said that to me because you were afraid to say it to anyone.
Now I find myself wanting to talk to you again. About this. About everything.
Let me be clear, however: I don't date men with beards. Ever. So that's got to go. The nail polish is negotiable.
Me: Blonde, blue eyes behind cute glasses, Nordic, stern.
[Side note... If you want to get a date from Craigslist, I don't think it's good to start off by demanding your love interest shave his beard, while describing yourself as "stern."]
So, seeing as I have a lot of spare time on my hand, I took the low road and created a new term from the always-in-style MILF. Yes, if John McCain wins the election, Sarah Palin will be a VPILF.
Instead of congratulating myself on my cleverness, I had to curse the internet. You see, pretty much everything I think of that might be remotely funny, somebody has already done. And this is no exception. There's already a god-damn VPILF.com. Or, if you want to borrow from Wayne's World, she would be Baberaham Lincoln.
As I said, this was an interesting choice, and I'm glad to see somebody from outside "The Establishment" get involved in the race. And if the whole Vice President and Governor thing doesn't work out, there's always sportscasting.
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August 30, 2008
Out to sea
Vancouver has this beautiful downtown park, called Stanley Park. (This is the same guy as the Stanley Cup.) I went running there one morning, and out in the bay I saw a giant oceangoing container ship waiting a few miles off shore. We came back a few hours later, and the ship was still there.
I felt really bad for the sailors aboard that ship. They had just sailed across the Pacific, from some exotic port in Asia, and after days or weeks at sea, they are almost to land, drinks, and women. Hell, just to be off the ship must be a reward in itself. Yet here they were, within sight of a giant city, where they could see people walking along shore, having a wonderful time. But they were on the ship, waiting. After weeks at sea. I couldn't imagine how frustrating that must be.
Anyhow, that picture is not that ship. In a cruel twist of fate, my camera's battery ran out a few days ago, so I have barely any pictures of Victoria or the boat rides over and back. This container ship looks exactly like the one I saw that day. This one by passed our ferry in Puget Sound on our way back to Seattle, and in fact it sailed about half a mile in front of us before heading out to sea. That was a little too close for comfort, but as you can see, we didn't collide. No Andrea Doria here!
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Greetings from Seattle
Well hello there, just a quick note to all those out on the internet. It goes like this: I've spent the past eight hours on a boat, going from Victoria, BC to Seattle. Our ferry was 45 minutes late, and then it dropped us off 90 miles from Seattle in a town called Anacortes. To get to Victoria, we took a ferry from Vancouver - that whole trip took about two hours, and was only about 45 minutes north of where we landed at Anacortes. So, if we had taken the Vancouver ferry, I would be in bed right now instead of blogging at 3:30 in the morning, having just gotten to our hotel. (!!!)
Anyhow, enjoy this hello from a salmon at Pike Place Market. He doesn't look too happy, does he?
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August 24, 2008
I'm off
Pink Elephant, originally uploaded by M.V. Jantzen.
Well dear readers, it's a tough life I lead since taking the bar exam. After a relaxing trip to the East Coast, I am now off to the Left Coast, where I'll spend some time bonding with my parents and my little brother. The first stop: Seattle, home of the Space Needle, grunge, Starbucks and, er, the Elephant Super Car Wash.
I'll have my computer with me, so maybe, just maybe, you'll hear from me this week. If you could only be so lucky!
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August 22, 2008
Polly wants to be potty-trained
I was fooling around on my computer a little while ago, when I found this old picture I took on my cellphone. Maybe I posted this, maybe I didn't. But I feel bad for these people, who clearly lost a beloved pet parrot. I wonder if they ever found him?
I'm most interested in the part at the bottom: it says the parrot was wearing a diaper. A diaper? What kind of bird wears a diaper? I'm well aware that birds pretty much go where they please, but that is why they're kept in cages. Is it possible to potty train a bird? (Survey says... Yes!)
I would think, though, that a bird in a diaper would feel kind of emasculated. Pooping where they please is quite possibly the most distinctive feature of birds, be they pigeons, geese, urban or rural. Birds poop everywhere; it's their great joy in life. You may as well tell them they can't fly. The sad thing is, now that this parrot is out and about in the wild, he probably shed the diaper and is leaving a white trail of dung all over Chicagoland.
I hope they found him!
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August 21, 2008
A most pressing question
deus, rio de janeiro, brazil, originally uploaded by Ling Ling Ang.
I was having a conversation today, and the issue turned to what happens when Jesus returns to redeem us all. No, we didn't talk about armageddon or the rapture, but more pedestrian issues: would Jesus be a Catholic, or Jewish?
Personally, I think Jesus would go to the synagogue. After all, Jesus was Jewish. Why would he suddenly join a different religion? I think it'd be kind of narcissistic of Jesus to join a religion that worships Himself. I mean, excessive pride is a deadly sin. It wasn't Jesus' idea to start a new religion centered around Himself. Jesus' whole thing was that he was the savior of the Jews, so why would He all of a sudden abandon Judaism? It doesn't wash, in my opinion.
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August 20, 2008
I'm a horrible person
basket of plants, originally uploaded by MrLomo.
Many years ago, when I first started this here Commentary, I worked in an office. At the desk next to mine was Eleanor, who was a delightful person, but sometimes off-kilter.
When I was there, her mother had recently passed away. To keep the memory of her mother alive, she had some plants and ferns that she kept in the office. She watered them every day, and referred to them as "Mother." I'd be sitting in my cube, probably avoiding work, when she'd announce that it was "time to water Mother."
Don't you know, those plants grew and grew, until they took up a large amount of space in the room.
On the other hand, I have learned that if I want to get some plants to memorialize a person, they are going to die. I've learned this the hard way. Somebody who does not wish to be mentioned on this site gave me a plant a few months ago, and I was determined to keep it alive. Things went well for a while - I set it up in my bathroom, next to the window, reasoning that I was in my bathroom everyday, and when I was in the shower, I would have no choice but to see the plant and remember to water it.
This strategy worked for the better part of six months, but I am sad to report that the plant may be on its last legs. Or is it last roots? It turns out that when I left last week, I left the plant positioned so that it wasn't getting any sunlight. Indeed, the portion that was in the sunlight is alive and well, but the non-lit portion seems to be crumbling.
I feel awful. At least if I ever have a baby, it screams when it's hungry.
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Here's an idea
060508crosswalk, originally uploaded by Dan4th.
So, as you know, I was off in merry old New England the past week or so, and I had occasion to walk around Boston. One of the things I noticed was how cars were fanatical about stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks.
I am certain everyone does not comply with the law, but as you can plainly see from the picture above, there are often signs in crosswalks that say you better stop for them. It was amazing: I'd be walking down the sidewalk, make a slight turn like I was going to cross the street, and every car - including, gasp, taxis - would slow down to let me go.
This should be of interest to Chicagoans like myself, because I read a few months ago about how the Chicago Police Department is cracking down on motorists who don't yield to pedestrians. I was not aware, but it is in fact a law in Chicago that drivers must yield to pedestrians in crosswalks.
Ever since I learned that fun fact, I have been foolishly playing games of chicken with cars on such abandoned thoroughfares as Division Street to see if they will actually yield to me. The answer, no. You will probably hear about me getting run over by a car one of these days.
I am not sure what Boston, and in fact, all of Massachusetts does to get drivers to yield to pedestrians, but I think the signs in the crosswalk help. If Chicago is serious about getting drivers to obey the law, they might benefit from putting up signs in crosswalks. They can't be that expensive. (However, I seriously doubt the city will continue to enforce the crosswalk law. It's the Chicago way: make a show of it for a few days, then forget about it.)
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